I’m not sure if my blog gives this away or not, but I’m kind of jaded and pessimistic about some things. Pregnancy is one of those things. Maybe it’s because I spent 18 weeks of my life either throwing up or trying not to throw up 24 hours a day. I loved this baby from the moment I found out about him, but it’s hard to see the beauty in pregnancy when your experience is so bad.
I’ve been pretty realistic about pregnancy and I’ve approached it with no expectations. I’m planning on doing the same thing with childbirth and motherhood. A lot of people have shared their opinions and advice with me. There are a lot of people whose opinions I value and others that I just don’t…
Try this method, don’t try that method, you have to breastfeed, breastfeeding destroys your boobs, you need a detailed birth plan, throw the birth plan out the window because it won’t matter anyway, don’t resign yourself to a C-section, try to get the baby to flip on your own, epidurals are huge no-nos… blah, blah, BLAH!
It all begins to sound like a broken record and a whole bunch if gibberish. My mother had two healthy babies and had two C-sections. For a long time, that was the only “birth story” I’d ever heard. I don’t have negative opinions about C-sections. A lot of my friends and family members ended up having to be induced and then ended up having C-sections after many many hours of labor. Lots of healthy babies there, too.
I’ve approached baby reading cautiously and taken it all with a grain of salt. (I hate that expression) I will definitely be listening to my pediatrician and taking his or her advice, but with so many differing opinions, too much reading can lead to a lot of confusion.
Tomorrow we’re going to our childbirth class. We chose to knock it all out in one Saturday rather than attend five different nightly sessions over five weeks. We may not come back after lunch if we think it’s a bunch of phooey anyway.
I may get some hate mail for saying this, but I just don’t think that learning how to breathe during a class when I’m not experiencing severe discomfort and the worst pain of my life will be beneficial to me when I’m actually going through it. I don’t think I’ll remember a thing about lamaze in those moments! And I’m fairly certain that anyone that tries to tell me how to breathe will get a fist to the face. We almost didn’t sign up for the classes at all, but I decided we needed to in order to feel like I covered all the bases.
The one thing I’m looking forward to about tomorrow is the part where we get the tour of “The Stork’s Nest” (where the babies are born) and the part where they tell us about anesthesia. God bless anesthesia.
ETA: I forgot to mention that I asked my doctor what on Earth a birth plan actually is and she said, “Don’t worry about it. You’re definitely not a birth plan kind of girl.” Told you so!
I love it! I hope I am as realistic and go-with-the-flow as you are about pregnancy – I think you are just going to be the most superb mom with that attitude!
But man… Ass Clown would have SOOOO much to say to you right now – if I have to hear about his Lamaze Classes ONE. MORE. TIME. I am going to throw myself out my window. The best moment of my week was on Wednesday when another associate (who is male and has 2 little girls) said “AC, shut up – your wife is birthing the baby, not you – and your birth plan is going to take a hike right out the window when the heavy contractions begin.”
It was a glorious moment at AF!
You crack me up! I think I enjoy your pregnancy stories the best because they are just so real.. I mean seriously people.. throwing up and gaining weight all at the same time? While pregnancy is miraculous, sure doesn’t sound like a ton of fun! But at least you still look good =)
And I don’t like the grain of salt exp. either. I guess because I don’t get it. And that makes me feel dumb. And i HATE feeling dumb!
I 100% agree- we decided to skip the birthing class because, like you, I didn’t feel I would value much from it. I will say that we took a breastfeeding class together that was Super helpful and informative, I’d highly recommend it if you have one available, just because there are so many technical aspects that us first time mom’s don’t know! Good luck in your final weeks- I have two weeks to go and can’t believe how fast it’s flown by…
Amen to epidurals! That’s all I’m saying!
Mandy @ http://houseofroseblog.com
I think you have a MUCH healthier approach to this than most women do!!
Awwwww!
Well, we were both born C-section and at least 50% of us are “normal” lol! 😉
Mom never experienced morning sickness with us either – and I just hate her for that. I don’t think I’ll be so lucky whenever it’s my turn!
I want to hear about any kind of “nesting” you’re doing!
Love you!
I’m not even pregnant I am tired of hearing everyone’s advice. Everyone is different and is going to experience things differently. Thats not a bad thing. As for birthing classes I’ve always thought that they sound so silly,but I will probably attend at least one once I get pregnant!
Maybe its a good thing I’ve never been pregnant…I’d be totally overwhelmed with everyone’s opinion and scared to death I’d make the wrong choice (I, unfortunately, am a worrier!)
Sounds like you’re going in to the whole experience with a realistic open mind and there’s a lot to be said for that. Too many people take someone’s opinion as “gospel” and then freak out when it doesn’t work out. Stay true to yourself and it will all turn out like its supposed to. I’m a big believe in that.
Not sure if it matters but I was born via c-section and think I turned out ok 🙂
Anesthesia is definitely God's gift to pregnant women!!! I didn't take the birthing classes because my OB told me they were a waste of my time & money. His exact words were, "we'll tell you what to do and when to do it". I'm glad I listened to him. 🙂 Good luck tomorrow. Hopefully you'll find something to laugh at during the class. I know I would have cracked up. 🙂 XOXO
totally made me laugh out loud at my desk…i would love to be a fly on the wall when you give someone a punch in the face! HAHAHAHA
LOVE YOU!
I’ve never had a kid, but I’m with you on this. I think lamaze is for people who also tend to be yoga-people. I think yoga is ridiculous. My brain does not slow does for that, and stretching and humming or whatever does not make me relax or come to harmony or whatever. IE – I think learning how to breath during childbirth would also be lost on me. I’d rather scream and punch wall 🙂
My best friend went into labor early with both of her boys and somehow figured out how to breathe (aka SCREAM) her way through it until she had the sweet relief of an epidural. I think in the heat of the moment, you’ll know what to do – what works best for you. But I think it’s probably good to have your bases covered.
You made me laugh out loud at my desk reading about a punch to the face 🙂
Funny girl! Best of luck!
Our birth class was a complete breeze… no videos, no breathing lessons…. basically, all they did was tell you what to expect during and afterward. I hated all of the unsolicited advice — I was not a fam of pregnancy, but loved Baby M from the second I found out I was pregnant. Good luck with the rest of the pregnancy and we cannot wait to meet your little man!
It’s nice and refreshing to hear TRUE stories instead of those “I love being pregnant, it’s so fabulous, blah, blah, blah” (I swear those types are all talking horse sh*t anyway! Your post almost gave me a pro in my “pregnant pro/cons” list (although the cons is about 500% longer than the pros!).
Have a great weekend!
-E
EPIDURALS ROCK!!! I asked my OB if I should attend a lamaze class and he laughed at me and said you have “epidural written on your forehead, don’t waste your time”!! Hahaha!
I can’t stand it when people tell me what to do, so I can completely relate with you. I know people mean well, but ultimately it’s up to us, as humans, to make our own choices and decisions. Personally, I think people just like to listen to themselves talk ;)Cheers to you for taking a stand! And, best wishes on your pending arrival 🙂
Shirley
sHp
I love your opinions on this subject. I feel that now days everyone places so much focus on “natural childbirth” and all the other blah blahs. Every pregnancy is different and every woman should do what makes HER happy. Good luck!
Epidurals rock! I had no birth plan and only attended half of my “classes” – because I was on bed rest, but I am glad I didn’t waste my time. Get the meds and the rest happens on it’s own. For the record I was terrified of labor and of an epidural and it all turned out not to be so bad. Good luck to you.
Too funny. I don’t have kids but nothing makes me more mad that crazy women who think if you don’t the baby totally natural that you aren’t a real woman. My sister and I were both C-section babies and are fine. I recently heard a story about a girl who had her baby at home in her tub and instead of going to the hospital like a sane human she tied the cord off with twine. Anesthesia was invented for a good reason haha! Love the baby stories!
I would like to formally vocalize my desire for an epidural now.
…just in case in some crazy lapse of judgment later in life I say I want to go natural.
…and I am all for c-sections. My mom had 2 c-sections and 3 natural births. I just kinda always thought it didn’t really matter which way you went. I didn’t realize people were so passionate about it until recently.
I’m with you…I went to those classes and didn’t use any of those breathing techniques. I think you’re totally right in thinking that you’ll do what you feel you need to do to make the labor go as well as possible.
I definitely think natural child birth sounds ridiculous!
Hi! I noticed your pictures on the side were by Kelly Moore Photography! I went to college in Ruston and always wanted to get my engagement pictures done by her! She does such a good job. Alas, my husband and I went with a friend for the job, but yours came out great!
this post cracked me up!! Hope the class goes well!!
I think this was an interesting post. My mom had 10 kids, and I asked her once how she thought things had changed during all of those different labors. For the first 7, epidurals weren’t an option. The last 3, she got epidurals (and the last one was a c-section) and she didn’t notice any differences in the baby’s health. I’m sure you already know this, but as for c-sections, I think the most important thing is the baby’s health. If it’s healthier for the baby, then have a c-section (or don’t, as the case may be). You’re a smart, level-headed girl, and I know that you’ll be able to sift through all the nonsense that revolves around childbirth. It sounds like you’re doing a great job already 🙂 I hope that you have fun touring the Stork’s Nest!
Well, I hope you get some enjoyment out of the class (even if it’s only a good laugh!)
And I’ve already decided…bring on the drugs for me 🙂
Amen. I took the class, went through labor twice and never used I think I learned. In fact, I don’t even think I remembered anything I learned! Trust me, when the time comes, you will grin and bear your way through it until that glorious Epi shows up and then you will want to marry the anesthesiologist and all will be well from that point on 😉
there is so much to think about when it comes to pregnancy and childbirth…i’m not really looking forward to either, which might be good if i have low expectations…
i’m one of those people who isn’t deadset on breastfeeding, only because i know it can be hard and painful, but some people can make you feel bad about using formula, since breastfeeding is NATURAL and the WAY GOD INTENDED…well, I know plenty of babies who were breastfed and plenty who weren’t and they are all wonderful!
ok, unexpected rant over…
have fun tomorrow!
Oops, I meant to say I never used 1 THING I learned!
I don’t have children yet. I’m getting married this summer and will try somewhere down the road. But, I just want to tell you that I hope when I am pregnant I handle it the same way you do. I feel like mothering is something you just find within you and I know you will do just find. Follow your heart and do what feels right. I agree about the learning how to breathe… like you’re really going to be thinking of it when you’re labor!?!
this totally reminded me of my fave golden girls quote of all time:
women should have babies the way god intended…strapped to a table and numb from the neck down.
loves it!!
I think the most exciting part of one day attending lamaze classes are all of the stories I’ve heard from friends whose parents met in lamaze. I don’t know if they ever used the breathing techniques or not, but I know some great people who have been besties forever because they were in the same class. I think that’s kind of cool.
This cracked me up!! We went to the one day lamaze class ourselves when I was preggers with Lovebug. The breathing technique helped me fall asleep…in the class!! I did print out a birth plan both times. What I’ve learned is that it’s just a good tool to remind you about some things you may want to talk about with your dr beforehand, because I can promise you, the day of no one is taking the time to sift through that thing. I’m a 2 C-section girl and both of my children were perfectly healthy. I tried to push for a VBAC the second time, but my doctor wasn’t having it given the size of my children at birth…and thank the good Lord above he had the sense to stand by that considering Birdie was 9lbs 12oz. Breastfeeding? The breastfeeding nazis will be after you to be all gung ho. But sometimes it just doesn’t work out. First child, my milk didn’t come in. Second child, was able to breastfeed for 8 months.
I”m pretty much how you are about it all. with my first pregnancy, i had an epidural though and ended up with permanent pain in my spine, so i plan to TRY to do it naturally, but we’ll see! i’m still open to doing whatever feels right at the time. i never had a birth plan, and my doctor even said there was no reason for it.
as far as childbirth classes go, i skipped that altogether.
I am so impressed! You sound like a very wise first time mom. I am on my 3rd and I did lamaze with my first baby I also had no ephideral. Both ideas were not in my best intrest. I ended up having a very long and very painful labor, I am sorry but you can’t focus and breathe a certain way for that long. It is called mothers intuition for a reason – you will know what is right for you and your baby.
Amen! What a cute post – I agree with all of it! I enjoyed that read – thanks!
I got through labor with my Diva without taking the classes (unintentional) or a birth plan. You are going to fantastic!
Hilarious! I feel the exact same way. In my Lamaze class they made us hold ice cubes for “pain.” I looked at my hubby and was like “Whatever!” I let go of it and just enjoyed the massage he was instructed to give me! HA! With both of my boys, I had short labors and got epidurals early in the labor-BEST THING EVER! I was amazed at how quickly you go from this crazy kind of pain to nothing. BLISS!
I see I got nixed from your list-ouch! :0( Come back and visit again sometime. Take care!
I’m a fairly new reader and adore your blog! I have had one baby (at age 3).. I threw up every day for 8 months, got braces two weeks before I found out I was pregnant, gained 50 pounds, had to attend birth class by myself as hubby was out of town (felt like a loser), had no birth plan except to get that baby out, had the epidural ASAP, didn’t have to do the breathing things, pushed for 3 hrs. with no drugs and walked like an 80 year old woman for weeks after because of said pushing (THAT was something I was not prepared for and no one told me about). The most important thing for the birth: bring your own pillow, comfy socks and a good magazine. And good luck! You’ll do fine.
My first baby was 2 weeks late and I was induced. I delivered her in less than 5 hours without epidural. The breathing techniques I learned in Lamaze class definitely helped and I was surprised by that. The baby weighed 9lbs, 5 oz.
My second baby was two weeks late. I was induced over a two day period with no baby. Finally, had a C section and a helthy 9lb 12 oz boy. Hated, hated the epidural. it was like my bottom half was paralyzed.
Good luck to you in whatever you decide. Love your posts.
Let me just say this girl…it’s your pregnancy and everyone is different (what a concept)! So whatever works for you, go for it!
~Elyse~
Don’t you just want to B* slap those women who talk about how much they loved being pregnant? Anyway, I had a whole “whatever” attitude about the delivery and breathing thing. You’ll figure out what you need to do to keep everything under control.
You’ll do great and you’ll do it your way even if you don’t figure out what that means until it happens! 🙂
Haha I’m right there with you on the epi’s. It reminds me of Baby Mama when the lamaze lady condemns women for wanting to drug their babies for their own selfish comfort.
I’m not pregnant nor have any plans to be in the near future but there are a few things I’ve decided are pure crap. At least for someone like me. I really don’t ever want to be pregnant, and would pay someone else to do it for me if my husband didn’t think it was completely ridiculous.
Thank goodness birth plans aren’t required. I don’t see me doing that either.
I was not a birth plan sort of girl either. Just as long as the baby was healthy and delivered ok and I had drugs – that was what I went for and ended up with 3 c-sections and 3 beautiful healthy, formula fed babies. I think all the classes are lacrap (ha!) but it helped my husband get into the “reality” of what was about to happen. So for that I was glad we went. Good luck!
Everyone is different so what worked for me or my neighbor might not be the best for you. I didnt do the lamaze at the Dr. but I did hire a Doula (birthing coach) and that was the best $650 I ever spent in my life. She was so easy going and helpful, she made me feel really relaxed about the entire experiance. My hubby was all good but he wouldve had no idea what to say when and to keep me focused. When I arrived at the hospital I was already almost 6cm so I had no time for an epidural, and having her there reinforced in me that I could do it. She was just awesome! Some things she suggested that helped me was: find a focus point to direct your attention to when you have a contraction, breath – in through your nose, out through your mouth, ride the wave out, it will eventually crest, and find something your hubby can do to help you relax, rubbing your feet, hands, etc. Hearing all my friends birthing stories always scared me to death, so having my first child with no epidural or drugs, and all within 5 hrs of being at the hospital, and 3 pushes I felt like Wonder Woman. Im hot natured so I also had a small desk fan to keep in my face – it helped. Its amazing what we as women can accomplish, I hope you have a smooth labor and delivery free of any bumps along the way. Just throwing my 2 cents in the pot, I hope thats ok 🙂
This post made me laugh! You are going to be a great mother – not that I’ve gone through this, but I feel the same way you do about lamaze. Ask Magnolias, Marriage and Manhattan the little tip she learned about the epidural (in a very good way!) during her delivery of Baby J.
Ha – that’s so the way I felt about it all – and it’s true! A birth plan, as far as I’m concerned, is unnecessary. I was induced because I was two weeks late and it wasn’t fun, but once that little guy came out, I pretty much forgot about all that I’d been through. I was just so thrilled that he was healthy and happy. I think your approach is great – because if you start to over-obsess and take everything so seriously, you lose some of the fun. (and I never went to a lamaze class…I knew that whole thing wouldn’t do me any good) As far as the epidural, someone once said to me “would you go to the dentist and get a tooth filled without pain-killers?” Exactly…
Can’t wait to hear what you thought of the class. I never went and when I went into labor I started to panic! When I got to the hospital the nurse asked me if I had gone to lamaze and I said no. She smiled and said,”Good just listen to me and do what I tell you and this will be a piece of cake”. She was amazing. So no matter what there are people there to help you through it because they do this everyday.
I totally believe you have to do what is best for you. Who cares what others think. It is your body and you make that decision. I already told Mr. guru I feel sorry for him when I am pregnant. I agree the last thing I will be thinking about is how to breathe when a baby is coming out of you.
We did the Saturday lamaze class too (just to feel like we were covering all the bases), and I truly felt like it was a waste of time. The best part was getting to tour the nursery and see the babies. Everything else was exactly what we read in books. I hope your experience is better!!!
Do what is best for you and don’t let anyone’s advice cloud your own judgement. Every person is different, every birth experience is different…YOU (and your Dr.) know what is best for you.
p.s. Breastfeeding doesn’t “ruin” your boobs…but it’s great on your waistline. 😉
Kudos to you! You sound like you have the best birth plan – listening to yourself and your body!!!!! No one can prepare you, no one can say what or how you will feel and you are prepared for whatever birth experience baby boy has in store for you. Congrats – I think you will be less stressed, less pressured and happier overall! Have a safe and blessed birth!!!
Check out the award I gave you over at my blog 🙂
<3 Sam
Good for you, Sweetie!
I had two beautiful, healthy baby girls. One without meds and one with-loved the epidural!!! I nursed one and not the other. They are both gorgeous healthy teens today. You’ve got to do what is best for you at the time. You can plan and plan-often, you’ll be thrown for a loop and your “plan” goes out the window.
You and your sweet husband will know what is right for you-don’t worry about it…doesn’t sound like you are:)! You have a fabulous attitude my dear!!!
I had to have an epidural with a surgery a few years ago because it was so intense. It was great!
Um, can I just tell you that I spent all of last night with Mojito Maven and Kate and we all raved about how awesome you apparently are. This post just confirms that for me.
Just listen to your doctor and do what is right for you…everyone is different so what might work for someone may not work for you or vice versa.
I may have mentioned this before, but I really appreciate your honest take on this pregnancy business. You don’t come across as negative at all; merely honest and realistic.
I have been warned about pregnancy that (1) everyone, literally, will have unsolicited advice for you; and (2) honing the tuning-people-out skill is a great skill to learn for motherhood. Best of luck with both! 🙂
Love it…I think your outlook is best for you and that’s all that matters. I think I’ll be in your camp when the time comes as well. Hope you had an enjoyable Easter weekend!
haha, it’s so true, and some people even make you feel bad for not doing things the way they did it. you’re right you have to be relaxed about things and take things as they come. you’ll do great however it happens!
Haha. Your body knows more about giving birth than a book does.
At least you are rolling with it! I think getting stuck to a specific birth plan would stress you out more than anything else. If the timing isn’t quite right, you have lots of alternatives to fall back on 🙂 I want to hear about your class!
What a refreshing post! I also am tired of feeling guilty for not wanting to do natural this and natural that. I just want to go into the hospital when labor begins and get pain relief when it gets to that point. Like my sister’s nurse told her when she was in labor, “they don’t hand out gold medals or blue ribbons to girls who go naturally.” I just want a healthy baby and me not too much worse for the whole experience, so who cares how it happens??? I also thought Lamaze was a silly idea but we’re going to the classes because that is also how we get to tour the Women’s Center and nursery.
Anyway, keep the refreshing posts coming and lots of luck as you approach the finish line!
I want to comment on the comment about getting a doula the first time around. VERY worth the money in my opinion! Mine came to the house so I could stay home as long as possible, which was GREAT during early labor. I didn’t want to be one of those people that goes to the hospital and then gets sent home – how embarrassing! She also relieved my husband of his stress because she was there to tell him everything was normal. She even came to my house the day after I got home from the hospital to see how the nursing was going. I’ve had 3 natural births (due for #4) in September and being able to do it the first time with the doula’s help prepared me for the others – even the last one which was at home!
I realize that babies born from c-sections are usually healthy, but I’ve heard it’s much harder to recover for the mom. My sister had a VBAC with her 2nd and said it was like night and day. So if anyone can avoid the c-section, I would think they would be well advised to so you can better enjoy your new beautiful baby!
I agree 100%. I was sick for my entire pregnancy (even threw up the morning he was born) and was so ready for it to be over with. I enjoyed it, don’t get me wrong, but was miserable a lot of the time too. It wasn’t until after I had him that I actually sort of missed feeling him kick around in my tummy. 🙂 It’s funny how quickly you will forget the discomfort of pregnancy, though! 🙂 I promise!
We didn’t have a “birth plan” either. Never even discussed it with our doctor. 🙂 I thought the child birth classes were kinda silly, too, but felt like we needed to go to cover the bases as well. We got so tickled at one point during breathing exercises and could not stop laughing to save our lives!! Yeah, we looked like we were teenagers in there… 🙂 Oh well, it makes for a fun story to look back and laugh about! 🙂 I was the same way with the breathing too, and my mom kept getting onto me and telling me that I needed to practice b/c I would need those breathing techniques when it came time. I kept rolling my eyes, but finally gave in about a week before i had him. I was glad I did (ate my words 🙂 b/c my nurses were WONDERFUL, but they weren’t in there every second of every painful contraction to help me breathe. So anyway, it all depends on your doctor and nurses. 🙂 Sorry for the lonnng comment!! lol
Ohhh…and get yourself an epidural if you want one! 🙂 Don’t ever let someone tell you that you’re a failure for getting one. I have a friend whose mother was that type…made me so mad! Oh, and she ended up getting the epidural. 🙂 Haha.
Im not anywhere near pregnant but this post makes me feel so much better. Im glad not everyone is gung ho about pushing a baby out. Lecrap indeed!