Erin Akin Carroll

*I posted this over on Leslie’s blog yesterday, and thought I’d share it with you all here today. Just because blog content is hard to come by, so I’ll do a little bit of recycling.

I’m a mom of a preschooler (Hudson) and a 22 month old (Hayes.) They are two happy, wild, spirited, sweet little challenging boys.

As I’m in the midst of raising my second toddler, I feel like I’m able to look at this toddler stuff in a different light. While raising my first toddler, I thought the days would never end. That bed time would never come. That the tantrums would never end.

Sometimes I felt like I couldn’t introduce him to a fun, new activity because as soon as the activity ended, we’d be in the midst of another horrible tantrum. And sometimes they were in public.

But then at the end of the day, he’d say something hilarious and I’d see just how much fun it is to watch a little person become their own little person. Watching him figure out the world and learning how to deal with disappointments was a privilege for me. I get to be the witness to his sweet little life! And I get to make an impact on him. So I just pray every day that my impact is positive. That I have a tug inside of me each time I think I’m going to lose my patience, to show him more love. Just more and more love.

And that part is just plain hard. They test your patience. They break things. They don’t obey. They push the boundaries. But they love. They barely even know how to do anything else except love.

So here are just a few pieces of advice for Leslie as she prepares to enter the world of raising a sweet, spirited little toddler.

1. Remember that it’s a season. This sweet little period of their lives will be over before you even know it. Then you’ll be raising a preschooler and raising your second toddler, and you’ll remember that it wasn’t really all that bad the first time around. It’s not a cake walk, but it won’t last forever.

2. Ignore the noise when you need to. It’s okay to tune out the constant repeat of “Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!” It’s okay to take a minute to yourself to breathe and pray for patience. Just step away. And most of the time when we step away, we’re able to regain our composure and gain a little perspective.

3. Lean on your friends and get out of the house. The occasional girls night and time spent with other moms is so therapeutic. Having the opportunity to talk about our kids when we get out– or NOT talk about our kids– gives us a chance to remember who we are as women aside from being a mom.

4. Enjoy every little moment. Get down on the floor and play with them. Go for walks. Talk to them. Run around the yard with them and teach them things. This wild time of innocence is fleeting. Hudson first rolled his eyes at us on his second birthday. We were singing “What’s Up?” by 4 Non Blondes in the car. And he rolled his eyes and said, “Stop singing that.” We were already uncool to him. Of course we laughed about it. But that time when they adore everything about you and beg to be held is the sweetest. And when you hold them and they just rest their heavy little head on your shoulder is the best feeling in the world. They learn to say “mommy” and “I love you” and you wonder if there will ever be a sweeter sound on this earth.

and I edited this post to add #5

5. Pray. Lean on the Lord. Talk to Him about your kids. Pray the scriptures over your kids. Ask for grace, forgiveness, and guidance. Because we can’t do this alone, and He wants us to come to Him.

Toddlerhood is such a fun time. It tests you and brings so much immeasurable joy. And I think it’s just always best to try to look on the bright side. Not because things should always be easy, but because we should be always striving to show our kids as much love as possible. And then ask their forgiveness when we fail.

“I can’t.”

I remember being one of those kids who would try something for just a minute or two. Trying to go across the monkey bars. Trying to tie my shoes. Trying to turn a cartwheel.

And if I didn’t get it quickly, I’d say, “I can’t.”

Hudson is my child to the core. When building something with his Legos or dressing himself or when we ask him to put his dishes in the dishwasher.

He follows it up with a big, “I can’t.”

And usually it’s something that he’s trying for the first time. But every single time he says, “I can’t” to us, my heart aches for him. I don’t get upset; I want to scoop him up and tell him that I think he is one of the greatest, coolest, most talented people I know. I want him to understand that he can do anything and that it hurts my mama heart when he says that about himself.

As a kid, I could never understand why adults would get so upset when I’d say those two little words. Why were they so mad because I couldn’t do something?

As Hudson’s mother, I’m upset because I want him to try. I never want him to doubt himself. I never want him to feel some of the huge insecurities that I feel. I never want him to feel inadequate, and I want him to know that God will help him do anything that he wants to do.

I’m a big believer in praying scripture for our children. I will occasionally come across a verse that jumps out at me as something that I need to be praying for Hudson or for Hayes. And this verse, that is one of the most familiar verses in the Word, is the one I’ve been praying for sweet Hudson.

Philippians 4:13

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

When he’s playing soccer and learning something new, I want him to do know he can do anything. When he’s learning about independence and doing things himself, I want him to know he can do anything.

We encourage him and tell him how proud of him we are. We walk alongside him in these years because the day is coming where we can’t hold his hand through the hard stuff. But we also let go and teach him how to sort through his frustration and disappointment without us.

It’s tough as a mom. I want to do it all for him. But I know that I’m not doing him any favors that way.

I also know in my gut that he can do it. He can do anything that he tries to do. And I’m praying that he believes that in his little heart, too.