Erin Akin Carroll

*Today’s post was written by my friends Hillary and Natalie. These precious women are sisters and there aren’t enough words to describe how much I look up to these girls. From the year I started eighth grade until I finished high school, I lived in Indiana. I met Hillary and Natalie through our church youth group, and Hillary became one my best friends. Every high school girl needs at least one friend who loves Jesus. I was so lucky to have Hillary in my life! Now, Hillary and Natalie teach a high energy fitness class at their church three times a week, and the class is packed! At least 100 women come to their class to work out, find community, and pray together. I’ve been lucky enough to attend one of their classes, and there is really nothing like it. Hillary and Natalie maintain a blog called Sister Fitness. You should check it out for some encouragement and fitness and health tips. (And if you live in the Anderson, Indiana area, you must attend their Zumba class at Madison Park Church!)

Helen Keller once said, “Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much.”

This quote became a reality for us during the month of July.  It all started as we sat across from a friend at our local breakfast joint.  We were there to dream about a way we could do more with the little that we had.

For the past four years our fitness class of 100+ women has come together on one evening each year to workout to music for the good of a local “women in crisis” shelter, Dove Harbor.  Each year, that hour of working out generated about $700 that we then handed over to Dove Harbor as our donation.

This year we felt the Holy Spirit’s tug on our heart to do more.  Side note:  Have you ever felt that tug on your heart from the Holy Spirit?  The same little voice that gently tells you not to eat all of the grapes in your grocery cart before you weigh and pay for the bag?   The same little voice that points out the hard truth that the tone you just used with your husband or children might not have been the tone of a grace-filled wife/mommy?

Well….  it was THAT voice we heard that morning at breakfast.  The unmistakable, unavoidable voice of God that said, “Trust them.  Trust Me.  Watch what I will do.”

So we did…  we trusted our class with the $700 of our own money we normally would’ve put in the hands of Dove Harbor.  Instead of writing a safe check to the organization that $700 was intended for, we cashed the $700 check into $5 bills and handed each one of our class participants $5.

With a charge from us to “multiply your $5 over the next 30 days and bring back your blessed efforts for Dove Harbor” our class set out on a 30 day adventure of trusting, humbling ourselves, and waiting for God to move in and around our efforts.

Those efforts produced $13,704.95 for Dove Harbor!  That’s right…  in 30 days, 140 people turned $700 into $13,704.95.

Have you ever been humbled by your small understanding of God’s bigness?  We have been brought to our knees in humble adoration of the One who is the author of everything good.  God planned this blessing for Dove Harbor all along.  He knew the total amount that would be turned back into us even before he planted the dream of doing something “bigger” in our minds.

What a lesson for our lives.  God is 13,704 steps ahead of us.  He knows our future struggles, and is preparing even TODAY the solution to our problems unknown.  He knows the plans he has for us…  they are plans to prosper us…  plans to give us hope…  plans to give us a future.  As recovering plan-a-holics this is so comforting for us!

God’s plans for us also are instrumental in the plans for others.  Our class’s willingness to participate in this act of faith during July prospered Dove Harbor!  Dove Harbor received hope and a future because of our obedience to trust and relinquish control of our own small $700.

Be encouraged.  God is on the throne and loves you!

xx
Hillary & Natalie

*My friend Kristen is sharing a really fun and relevant post with you today. Though we both attended grad school at the University of South Carolina in the exact same building and in the very same years, I didn’t officially meet Kristen until we both started blogging. Since reading each other’s blogs, staying in touch through texting and social media, and then finally meeting in person at a Gamecock football tailgate, I love that I can call Kristen a friend. A trusted friend. She is a talented writer, has impeccable taste, and is a true friend. I love a friend who can give you the honest truth and have your absolute best interest at heart, and that’s Kristen. She’s a good egg! 

Hey, y’all! I’m Kristen, and I’m happy to meet you! When Erin asked me if I would like to write a little something for you to read this week while she is enjoying a much-deserved family vacation, a million topics ran through my head. As a full-time working (from home) mother to two beautiful children ages 3 and 5 ½ months, there are a variety of topics that I’m interested in and that I ponder on a daily basis.

I used to maintain a public blog, but after the birth of my son, Wynn, I took the blog private (and, quite honestly, I’ve rarely posted since then). It’s been a while since I’ve written for something outside of my work (I am head of marketing for a national insurance company and I direct all marketing and advertising efforts in 17 states). I wanted to write something light and fun, but also relevant!

If you follow me on Twitter (@kristenwatsonsc) or Instagram (@carolinakristen), you know that I am a huge fan of the Duchess of Cambridge. I think she is a beautiful example of grace and elegance, and following the birth of her first child online – from the Tweets proclaiming that she was in labor to watching the live feed of her taking those first steps out of the hospital with that precious bundle – was an exciting and fascinating time for me. I find it absolutely amazing that modern technology allows us to experience these life events as they happen, rather than waiting for the newspapers to fill us in in the following days. But modern technology brings uncharted territory, and our children are the first to actually grow up with social media. Our children are the first generation whose stories are being told to the world, live, as they happen. That sort of blows my mind, and as I watch the Duchess’ motherhood experience unfold, I can’t help but think that we could learn a thing or two from her.

With that, here are the five things I think we as mothers can learn from Kate in the era of social media:

1. Don’t be ashamed to let the world see your postpartum body.

Let’s face it: most of us moms want to put our best face forward on social media. If you’re anything like me, you hesitated showing photos of you leaving the hospital with your beautiful newborn out of fear you’d be judged for, you know … looking like you just had a baby. I scrutinized the full-body shots that my family took, hung my head over my round belly and swollen thighs and then vainly only posted the “selfies” I took (but not before I cropped out any evidence of my extra weight).

When Duchess Catherine walked out of that hospital proudly displaying that post-baby belly, I thought, “FINALLY. A celebrity who isn’t going into hiding until they can show off a six-pack. A woman who is tossing aside the pre-conceived notions and restrictive girdles and corsets that can only be described as torture.” (Ahem … Jessica Alba.)

I wished I could have been as proud as Kate. As unafraid. As … comfortable in my own skin.

To new moms everywhere: I pray that you feel a deep sense of pride in that stomach, because your body has just done the most noble, wonderful thing, and it deserves to be celebrated … not hidden (and definitely not punished with double corsets).

2. Know that there’s no such thing as the perfect mother. You will make mistakes, and sharing your life on social media means those mistakes may be documented.

When photos of newborn Prince George newly strapped into his car seat (for the first time) hit the Internet, a backlash arose as a result of the fact that he was not properly strapped in. He was swaddled beneath the straps, which were loose, and the chest clip was in the wrong position. The new Cambridge family wasn’t five minutes out of the hospital, and already they were being judged widely.

I have personal friends who have been called out for “improper” car seat safety on social media. It’s unfortunate, but the mistakes we used to make in private now can be in front of 500 of our closest friends and coworkers.

Here’s the bottom line: NOBODY IS PERFECT. Not even royalty. Making mistakes is part of parenthood; we learn from them and we’re better for having made them. Unfortunately, in the era of social media, our mistakes may be documented from time to time – and there seems to be someone who is always willing to point them out. We have to be willing to accept this, forgive ourselves and move on!

3. Do understand that what you post can live forever.

Once we send something to the Internet, it’s out there. “Screen shot” technology means that something could be immortalized forever. Just as William and Kate will undoubtedly double-think the details they share about their son, a future king, we should give our children the same consideration — knowing that what we share could stare them in the face when they’re 18.

4. Try to resist the urge to share every detail.

This is one that I struggle with daily, as I think of my social media circle as a group of friends that can share my happiness along with my struggles. My regular labor and delivery updates on Twitter and Facebook had my dad joking that my social media circle would know about my child’s birth before our doctor! But as I grow older, I see that there is value in keeping some things sacred. Could the Duchess have been forthcoming about her due date, clearing up the confusion surrounding the real date? Sure. Could she have had someone live-Tweeting her birth? Absolutely. Could she have confirmed the potential names before choosing one? Of course. But those details were kept private. Those details were decidedly for their family only. I find that refreshing – and something I will try to remember when the “share” button is so tempting.

5. Smile and be graceful even when others aren’t the same.

The media hasn’t always been kind to William & Kate. They’ve leaked VERY private photos of them, gossiped about their every move and denied them the privacy they have requested during the most sacred times. In fact, it’s been rumored that William has always blamed the media for his mother’s tragic death. Nonetheless, William and Kate were kind, accessible and downright charming when they made their first public appearance just 24 hours after the birth of their son. They didn’t have to pose for the photos and provide the lucrative sound bites, but this modern, graceful couple embodies the class that puts them on the permanent high road – someplace I think we’d all like to travel.

I’m definitely not an expert on social media, and I’ve made more parenting mistakes than I can list in one blog post. As social media technology and channels change and my experience and knowledge grows, I would like to think that my philosophy on how I use it will adapt based on the needs of my family. At the end of the day, that’s all we can do – make the decisions we think are best for our family. That’s what Will and Kate are doing, too … and I pray the world is kind to them as we watch!

We’re enjoying a beautiful, relaxing week of family beach time down in Orange Beach, Alabama this week. This is one of my favorite places on earth, and it’s always what comes to mind when I think of “family vacation.”

For most of this week, I’ll be having guest bloggers. I decided that it would be really fun to include women (bloggers and non-bloggers) that I know in real life. Yesterday, my friend Ellen shared with you about how God laid it on her heart to bring together her many friendships and start a Bible study group for the summer.

This week’s Build ‘Em Up is about something very similar to Ellen’s post from yesterday.

It’s all about mom groups.

One of the first things I realized as a new mom was that motherhood could either be incredibly lonely and alienating, or I could find a way to make friends with other moms and have a stronger sense of community through this incredible road called motherhood.

And for over a year, it was much more isolating and lonely than it was all about community. I didn’t have any other mom friends. And, let’s face it. We change when we become moms. We can deny it and try to hang on to our old selves. But becoming completely responsible for another person, being fully overwhelmed with love for another person, and losing sleep and basing all of your decisions on another person’s needs will change you.

This week is supposed to be all about mom groups, but I’m honestly not a part of a formal mom group. I don’t attend MOPS or a formal playgroup. But I have some incredible friendships that I am so proud of.

And I’m proud of them because I’ve worked at them. I have the best friends I could ever ask for, and I’m so proud that these women are my friends.

Most of my friendships began at church. I have friendships from all different parts of my life in our church. Choir, children’s ministry, Sunday school, my kids’ friends moms. And it’s okay with me that these people aren’t all a part of one big play group.

About six months ago, a group of girls from church decided that we wanted to make it a monthly thing to get together one Sunday night per month for a true girls night. And once a month, we go to dinner or go to a movie and aren’t rushing home. Our husbands are able to be at home with the kids because it’s a Sunday night, and we’re not rushed. We fellowship and share and catch up. I look forward to it every month!

We attend Shandon Baptist Church in Columbia, South Carolina, and for the past couple of years I was a part of a Moms’ Bible Study on Tuesday mornings. We met for a little over an hour, and the study was all about topics that related to moms. And childcare was provided!  I’m not able to attend this study anymore because of scheduling conflicts, but if you live in the Columbia area and would like to attend, please call the church! They would love to have you!

Another way that I met a few of my very best friends was from the boys’ preschool. Between pick up and drop off, and calling and scheduling play dates, I’ve gotten to know quite a few of the parents of my kids’ friends very well.

These pockets of friendships aren’t formally organized, but they work. And my biggest piece of advice is to just call someone. Invite someone to play. Invite a group of people to play. If you’re looking for those “mom friends,” then make it happen!

I know there’s the risk of rejection, but I promise that everyone feels that way. And God loves it when we fellowship and have community. He wants that for us!

That mom that you want to invite to the park with her little boy is probably feeling nervous about extending the invitation to someone, too. In our house, we never turn down a play date! So just call, email, or send a text and extend the invitation. It could be the beginning of an amazing friendship!

We’d love for you to link up with us today to share about your mom groups. In the link tool, make sure you include your city and state so others can find you and make connections!

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