Erin Akin Carroll

Note: I’ve joined Formspring.me, so CLICK HERE to ask me anything and click back to view all of my answers. If you follow me on Twitter, some of the answers are there, too!

Thank you all so much for the amazing comments on yesterday’s post. I realize that I’m not alone, and no matter what big life events we’re looking forward to, we’ve all struggled with contentment issues.

Today’s post is a little lighter.

For years, I had a huge 5 inch binder that we filled with wedding inspiration. Things that I liked from Martha Stewart Weddings and InStyle Weddings starting in 1999 and going until 2008. I tore out my favorite ideas, gowns, shoes, flowers, cakes, stationery, put each page in a page protector and filed it in my binder. I still have the binder, but I don’t take it out and look at it nearly as often.

These days, I keep a home inspiration binder. I print off and tear things out of Elle Decor, Domino (still missing Domino), and Southern Living and file it away by room categories in a 5 inch notebook. I’ve posted some of my favorite dream rooms and ideas before, here’s the house I’m currently coveting.

It is the Southern Living 2009 Idea House in Hemlock Springs, Georgia. To me, it is just the right mix of bold and understated. Formal and livable. Beautiful and comfortable. Relaxing and show-stopping.

Hopefully, our next house will have a formal living room where I will not have a television, but I will have my mother’s baby grand piano. (Thanks, mom!) I’ve always shied away from bold prints, but this room gives me courage. Love it and it’s at the top of the list of room inspiration. I have furniture that I would just recover to achieve this look.

This next room was actually used as the master bedroom in Hemlock Springs, but I would take one of my guest beds and recover the headboard and go for this look. I love having a white, calming, hotel-like guest bedroom, but with two guest bedrooms (until another wee one comes along) we can do this. It’s so beautiful, happy, and serene.

And last, but not least, I want our master bathroom and our dining room to be done in a big, bold, graphic wallpaper. I’ve never been a huge wallpaper fan, but this changes my mind.

There are my current beautiful home obsessions. Any tips on other sources of beautiful homes?

I’ve been thinking about this for a long time and hopefully I’m not the only one. For a few years, probably since I finished grad school, I’ve felt like I’ve been measuring and marking my life by certain events. As if every life needs to follow a scripted, mapped out plan. Writing this post doesn’t mean I want to change “the plan,” but more how I view the plan and how I let it dictate my thoughts and actions.

I kind of look at my life like a scrapbook and it needs to have certain pictures in it. Not for anyone else, but for me to feel like I “checked that box.” The scrapbook, in my mind, looks something like this: get a driver’s license, get a car (used, new doesn’t matter), graduate high school, go to college, turn 21, graduate college, go to grad school, finish grad school, start a job, meet “the one”, get engaged, get married, buy a house, have a baby, have another baby, have another baby…. Then what? What do you wait for and wish for next?

When Todd and I were serious and knew that we’d get married someday, I spent so many months waiting and wishing that we’d get engaged. I knew that we would someday and that he loved me and wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. But I became obsessed with getting engaged and having the label to go with it. I think mostly so I could move onto the next exciting thing in my life with him.

Why do I put my life into such big milestones? Why can’t I live each day just for what it is and be happy with where I am right now? This was a recent Bible study topic in our girls study of Priscilla Shirer’s “Can We Talk?”

My current contentment issue is with our house situation. I just kind of feel like we’re waiting and praying and I’m becoming impatient. I don’t know why I want the change so badly. I mean, I know why I want to move, but I need to just wait and see what the Lord wants us to do while I sit back, pray, and enjoy my life.

My other thought that has recently begun creeping into my mind is the thought of having another baby. I’m definitely not ready for another baby, but I’ve always thought that I wanted my kids to be two years apart in age. Hudson will be a year old in June. I’d have to start thinking about getting pregnant soon after that in order to have a second baby by Hudson’s second birthday. It’s not something I really like to think about, so I don’t. But I do feel a little bit of pressure to think about the long run and what the best time frame to have a second child would be. And I have no idea if getting pregnant the second time around would be as easy as it was the first time. I don’t know what’s going to happen to my body after I have surgery in May. The thought of actually being pregnant just makes me tired, but I know that I want the precious reward at the end.

So why am I doing this? Why am I thinking and planning so much rather than just being still and content in my wonderful little life as it is?

After Hudson was born, my mom joked that I needed to take a break from big life events for a while. Actually, she wasn’t joking. Between ages 24 and 27, I got engaged, got married, and had a baby. That’s a lot to handle– and not just for me. It was a lot on the people that love me and helped take care of me, too.

People find their fulfillment through different things. I am a Christian and a child of God and find so much fulfillment from my relationship with Him. And I am very happy with my life. I can’t stress that enough. But I do feel like I’m always waiting for the next thing– and there may not be another “next big thing” for my life. There will be for my son’s life, but I’m hoping to not be one of those moms that lives her child’s life to find her happiness. I will be happy for him, but I don’t want his life events to become my identity.

And there are obviously the people, couples, and families that don’t want some of those milestones to happen in their lives. Not everyone wants kids or wants to get married. But maybe there’s something work-related that you’re waiting for.

Does anyone else do this? Do you feel like you’re constantly waiting for the next big thing to happen? What if there isn’t anything big that happens? Why isn’t the idea of waking up, living your daily life, and going to bed good enough?

Oh my!

The weather in Columbia was pretty darn close to perfect this weekend. My dear husband despises the colder temperatures and as soon as there’s even a hint of Spring he gets so excited. He wants to come home early from work so we can take the baby and Boudreaux on a walk (no, Fiona still doesn’t come with us). Todd hates the rain and the cold, so a perfect day brings out the kid in him and he wants to do everything outside. Our little family had been apart for two weekends in a row, so we wanted to make the most of this weekend.

Columbia has a pretty great zoo. Todd and I had one of our very first dates there, and we return back to the zoo at Christmastime every year to commemorate the first zoo visiting occasion.

December 2006

On Saturday, we were so excited to take Hudson on his first Riverbanks Zoo experience. He loves being in the stroller and seeing new things. He loved being out of the stroller even more so he could really see the animals. His favorite part was the aquarium. The fish are so bright and easy for him to see. We all had a great time. We didn’t stay long because an 8 month old doesn’t have the longest attention span, but it was nice being outside and seeing the animals. It was even more fun watching Hudson see everything for the first time.

On an unrelated note, I had a great weekend, but ate my weight in ice cream, chocolate chip cookies, and anything else I could get my hands on. No weight gained– yet– but I definitely would like to keep losing it, so I need to get it together.

I hope you’re all having a great Monday!

I’ve got a few pictures on my camera from our time in Dallas and some from this week that I wanted to share with you. And it’s Friday, so I can do what I want today, right?

Super Bowl Awesomeness

The Saints won the Super Bowl! And my parents, their friends, Hudson, and I got together to celebrate. And eat. Because that’s what people from Louisiana do. We had a boat load of king cakes, a huge pot of red beans and rice, and a huge pot of gumbo, and yummy bread pudding. I would have been fine not to ever eat again. But I did, of course!

Please look at the vast amounts of food here.

Seeing my besties on a Dallas snow day

My best friends from college live in Ft. Worth, so visiting Dallas is extra fun because I get to see them and they get to play with Hudson when we visit my parents. They came over the day that Dallas got slammed with 12 inches of snow and we had a blast just hanging out inside.

Valentine’s Day

Todd was out of town the week that Hudson and I went to Dallas (which was the whole purpose of us going to Dallas in the first place). We all returned to Columbia from our respective locations on Valentine’s Day. Todd’s parents were very generous and kept Hudson overnight so Todd and I could go on a fun Valentine’s Day date in Greenville, SC. But we exchanged Valentine’s Day presents before we left. Hudson got a lot of cards and some Karen Katz books. He also got an “I Love You Elmo” and a big red fluffy dog.

Todd and I made the drive to Greenville and checked into the Westin Poinsett Hotel (where we got married and stayed during our wedding) and then went to Soby’s for dinner. We love Soby’s! We didn’t have enough time to stay for dessert because we had to make a 7:30 show of Wicked! I had seen it once before, but Todd had never seen it. It’s definitely in my top 3 best musicals of all time. We’ve been singing the songs constantly ever since.

After the show, we went back to Soby’s to have white chocolate banana cream pie, which was used instead of groom’s cake at our wedding.

photo by Kelly Moore Photography

The next day we had lunch on Main Street and then drove home to get our precious boy. It was so nice to have a night away- just the two of us. We were able to rest and talk and enjoy each other’s company. We’re able to do all of those things with Hudson around, but it’s just nice to have an evening where you get to just be together.

Hudson on the go

Hudson got a new ride yesterday. We upgraded his car seat from the Graco SnugRide to the Britax Boulevard. He was actually 2 pounds heavier than the limit for the SnugRide, so it was time– way past time! The Britax is great and he loves it already! Pictures coming soon of Hudson in his new seat. But here are a couple that I took of him yesterday just hanging out at home.

Doesn’t he look guilty?

And I hope you’re not bothered by baby drool!