Erin Akin Carroll

Note: This is a follow-up to this post.

In the previous post about contentment, I made a brief mention about baby number 2. When will baby number 2 arrive? When baby number 1 arrives it’s inevitable that you have thoughts about how many years will separate your children, if you decide to or are able to have a baby number 2.

This has been on my mind a lot lately.

So in the middle of my blogging rut, this is one of the thoughts that always seems to be on my mind. Like a little clock going “tick tick tick.” Not that I’m in a hurry!

Hudson’s first birthday is coming quickly. Do I want to have baby number 2 before Hudson turns 2? I don’t think so. I’m really not looking forward to actually being pregnant, and I certainly don’t want to be pregnant when I have a 27 pound child that needs to be held and carried so frequently.

But it’d be fun to have baby number 2 before Hudson turns 3. And it would also be fun to have baby number 2 around the same time as some of my friends again.

Also, we’re starting to think about a fun 2011 vacation to go along with my super fun 29th birthday on 11-11-11. But, honestly, the fall of 2011 is the perfect time for me to be pregnant, in my eyes. I’m not even sure what God has in store. Why don’t I just ask him and let him take care of it?

Because right now I just want to think about marking dates on the calendar for this potential trip. If we take the trip to Napa, I can’t be pregnant. You can’t do winery tours when you’re pregnant! So I’ve got these thoughts going “do we get pregnant and have a baby before a trip like that or do we wait until we take the trip and then get pregnant? Even though that would make baby number 2 more than 3 years younger than Hudson?”

See what I mean? I think too much!

My last pregnancy was the biggest blessing of our lives, but it was always the biggest shock. I want to be ready for the next time.

I know I just need to stop, step back and let God take control, but there’s the part of me that struggles so much with doing that. I am a control freak. I like to plan. I love that road map for my life.

If this post makes it sound like my mind is spinning, then I wrote it exactly how my mind is working.

What consumes your thoughts that you wish you could turn off?

I’m in a blogging rut. I hate blogging about blogging and here I go. I’m doing it.

I have so many things on my heart right now that I want to blog about and get out there. My blog is, in fact, my journal, right? I can keep up with my thoughts, my photos, my life events. But because I’m often so transparent and put everything out there, I also feel vulnerable. Mostly vulnerable to all of the people that I know in real life that read and maybe don’t always tell me that they read.

There are some things going on that are on my heart and mind right now, but it’s not my place to write about them.

There are things going on in my life that have caused me some hurt lately, but I can’t write about them without fear of hurting someone. Or without feeling like I sound that I’m out for pity.

I rarely wish that I had an anonymous blog. I love the community that I’ve found here and I don’t think that is as possible when the blogger is completely anonymous. But sometimes I just want to let it all out and I can’t.

Am I alone here?

And I’m not saying that I want to be anonymous so I can talk about people. I want to talk about myself and my heart and feel a little more safety in doing it.

Because I’m in a rut and I’m stumped right now about what I can say, I’m inviting you to just get a quick chuckle out of this photo. Hudson was standing at the glass and I ran around outside to snap his picture and this is what I got!

I quote Sloan Peterson from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, “He’s licking the glass and making obscene gestures with his hands.”

My favorite weekends are always the ones where we don’t really have anything planned, but we just hang out with each other and enjoy the company.

1. My weekend got started a little early when Hudson and I drove down to Georgia on Thursday afternoon to visit Lyndsey, her little Addison, and Amy. The purpose for the trip was to visit Amy’s business, FitLab, Inc., so she could do the metabolic testing on me to help me get in the best shape of my life. I cannot wait to share more of this process with all of you, but it was amazing and so informative. I now know how many calories my body needs every day to function. I found out that I wasn’t eating enough, so that’s why I haven’t been losing the way I need to and I was still feeling hungry all the time. I found out how to work out to maximize my workouts and really customize them to my heart rate and body so that I am burning fat and really giving my heart and body a good workout. I’m so thankful to Amy for taking the time to let me test with her.

More importantly, I got to spend such great time with two women who have become such dear friends to me. We had just spent time together at the Beth Moore conference, so it hadn’t been too long since I’d seen them. But I now know that there are two other girls who feel the same way I do about friendships and family. And they’re not that far away!

Hudson and ALM couldn’t be more different, but they were so sweet together and I know they’ll grow up to be pals. You could just tell they were trying to figure each other out. I knew that Hudson was a little rowdy, but I didn’t realize just how wild he is until I saw ALM. She is just the sweetest, most content, little girl I’ve ever met. I promise that if anyone could just handpick their child’s temperament, this is what they’d want. She is a dream child! (Now, please don’t misunderstand. I adore Hudson’s personality. He just keeps me on my toes!)

By the time I was ready to be tested, I was worn out from wrestling with Hudson all day.

Lyndsey was so sweet to “babysit” Hudson while I was on the treadmill. He did surprisingly well, but I think  she got a little taste of what’s to come as soon as Addison takes off crawling. She had her hands full with two babies.

Go read Lyndsey’s blog to see exactly what we did on Thursday and Friday. It includes lots of laughter and lots of trips on a golf cart. But Amy telling the waiter at the Mexican restaurant why we couldn’t eat there is the best part.

2. I got back to Columbia on Friday night just in time for Todd and me to put Hudson to bed and watch Dateline. Honestly, our favorite thing about Friday nights is watching Dateline. And if Keith Morrison is the reporter, then it’s even better! I just love him.

The only problem is that I always fall asleep with about twenty minutes left to watch and end up having to ask Todd what happened. Did the killer get convicted? Did they really do it?

3. On Saturday, Todd played golf all day and Hudson and I just hung out around the house waiting for him to get home. It was honestly pretty boring and we were eager for him to get back to entertain us!

We made these Cooking Light Black Bean and Corn-Topped Potatoes that we both love so much and watched The Hangover.

4. Sunday morning is always so hectic around our house. It is a miracle if we make it to church on time. We always forget to make Hudson’s bottles the night before and I’m always rushed to get dressed. We were only about five minutes late yesterday and Hudson didn’t even cry when we dropped him off. That made the morning much easier.

We went to Sunday school and church and sang in the choir. I’m going to be planning the end of the year celebration luau for our choir in a couple of weeks, so I’ve got that on my mind. After church we had lunch with our friends to celebrate a birthday and I was so thankful that our friends were able to help us keep Hudson entertained. He always struggles on Sundays because he doesn’t nap in the nursery and ends up getting his nap a couple of hours late. We rarely go out to eat after church because we’re never sure how he’s going to do. But our friends kept him entertained and played with him through lunch.

We came home and it started raining and thundering, which is perfect for nap weather. I slept for about two hours and Hudson slept for almost four hours. Todd’s parents are always so sweet to babysit when we need it, and they offered to babysit so we could go to a movie last night.

Todd and I went to see Iron Man 2. I have a weird obsession with Robert Downey, Jr. and have since I was a kid. The movie was entertaining and full of talented actors. I don’t need to see it again, but we did like it a lot.

What did you do this weekend?

Last night I wrote out our summer calendar and it looks like we’re going to be busier than I thought. Fortunately, we’ll be in town for most of it, though. We’ve got three weddings, Hudson’s birthday, BlogHer in NYC, Hudson’s swim lessons, and I’m working with Vacation Bible School and Music Camp at our church.

What are your plans for this summer? Any exciting vacations?

Hudson and I just returned from a fun 36 hours visiting friends in Georgia. More on that later, but I wanted to get these winners announced on Friday like I promised!

Good news: The giveaway response was so great (with 335 entries!) that Tracy Negoshian decided that I should select three winners! I selected the winners via the Random.org Integer Generator.

The winners should contact me via email {eeakin11@gmail.com} by the end of the day on Monday or I’ll move on to the next person.

Congratulations to the following three commenters! You will win your choice of one of the beautiful pieces by Tracy Negoshian!