We spent the latter part of last week and part of this weekend at Wild Dunes on the Isle of Palms, South Carolina. We had a great little mini-vacation and enjoyed just being out of town. The weather on the coast was perfect. The sun was shining, there wasn’t a cloud in the sky, and the temperatures were in the mid to low 80s with a strong breeze. I think this is the perfect time of year to go every year before our boys start school. I hated to come home.
Hudson, especially, loved the “peach” and couldn’t get enough of the waves, the ocean or the sand. He enjoyed making sand castles with his Daddy and jumping in the waves while his Daddy held on tight to him. And when he got tired, he sucked his thumb that was covered in sand. And he never complained. Ick.
As we’d walk out to the beach with Hudson, he’d ask us both to hold one of his hands. I had Hayes in the Baby Bjorn and I was holding Hudson’s hand as we walked down the boardwalk to the beach. TC had Hudson’s other hand. He knew not to go into the ocean without us. He knew not to walk twenty feet away without us. And if he wanted to go to the ocean, he’d ask, “hold my hand?”
He had to sleep in a new room in our condo. The room had two twin beds. We put one of the twin mattresses on the floor next to the bed he was sleeping in. We had originally put it there in case he rolled off the bed, he’d have a soft landing spot. But I ended up lying in there with him every night to read him his stories before he fell asleep. And I would stay in there with him until he fell asleep so he wouldn’t get scared in a new place. He’d kind of whimper when I’d turn out the light and I reminded him I wasn’t leaving. And he’d say, “Mommy, hold my hand?”
So I held his hand until he drifted off.
That sweet little hand. It’s a dirty little hand full of toddler germs. But it’s soft and squishy and his little touch is full of love.
The day will come when we go to the beach and he just bounds into the waves without looking back. He’ll stop needing us to tuck him in for bed. He’ll go to kindergarten. He’ll drive himself to school. He’ll go on his first date. And he’ll leave us for college.
And with each new major milestone, we’ll have to let go a little bit more and just know that there’s only so much we can do to protect him.
But to have a sweet son who, right now, doesn’t want to walk anywhere without holding one of our hands, is fine by me. These sweet little times are fleeting. There will be bumps, bruises and scabby knees. There will be broken hearts. There will be failed exams and disappointment. He may not make the football, baseball or basketball team. He is a little fish in a big pond.
One of the afternoons we were there, while the boys were napping, I went down to the beach by myself with my book. I sat there for a while just thinking. There’s nothing quite like a trip to the beach to get a good reality check of how small we actually are. You think about the bajillion grains of sand and just how much water separates us from the next continent. And how many people on that continent are looking at the same ocean. It’s truly remarkable how God created this perfect Earth for us to enjoy while we’re here.
But what I’ve always found amazing is that even though there are so many of us here on this Earth, God loves us all just as much as I love Hudson and Hayes. To God, my sweet Hudson is a big fish in a big pond. We all are.
