Erin Akin Carroll

It’s a quiet morning at the Carroll house. Hudson is at school, Hayes is napping, and I just finished my Bible reading assignment for the day. I skipped the gym this morning because I’m starting to feel like I’m getting sick and thought I could use the sleep. (Any excuse will do, right?)

I was just going through my Google Reader during Hayes’s nap this morning and saw that AP from I Love You More Than Carrots did this fun little survey and linked up with From Mrs. To Mama. So maybe you want to post it and link up over there, too?

So in the spirit of Valentine’s Day and a little bit of writer’s block, here’s a fun little love survey. And if you already know the answers to these questions, just skip on over.

1. How long have you and your significant other been together?
We started dating in December 2005, so we’ve been together for six years. And it seems like we’ve been together for so much longer. I can’t imagine my life without him.

2. How did you meet? {What’s your “love” story?}
We met at work. I worked for a law firm as my first job out of grad school and I started my job in July of 2005 and he started in September. The day we met, as he frequently reminds me, was a Thursday and was the day of Steve Spurrier’s first home game coaching for the Gamecocks. It all leads back to Carolina football!

I was dating someone else at the time when Todd and I met. But we ran into each other at Publix and started talking and then we started emailing. When I think about those emails I totally get the warm fuzzies. They were borderline flirtatious, but we had so much fun getting to know each other. Then finally we went to lunch and then went on our first date at Nonnah’s in The Vista in Columbia. Another one of our first dates was to the zoo for Lights Before Christmas.

3. If married, how long have you been married?
We have been married for 3.5 years. We got married on May 3, 2008.

4. If you are married, where did you get married? Big or small wedding?
We were married in a medium-sized (150-ish guests) ceremony in the Daniel Chapel on the Furman University campus in Greenville, South Carolina. Our reception was at the Westin Poinsett Hotel.

5. Do you have any nick-names that you call one another? Do share!
His family and friends call him TC, and that’s what I call him on the blog sometimes. He calls me “Ernie” and I sometimes call him “Toddler.”

6. Name 3 things you love most about your honey.
I love his devotion to his family and his faith, his strong work ethic and sense of responsibility, and he is hands-down the smartest and also the wittiest person I know. I love being married to a funny man!

7. Tell us how he proposed?
He proposed on the Horseshoe on the University of South Carolina campus. We went on a walk and had plans to go to dinner afterward. He got down on one knee and asked me to marry him and I, of course, said yes. I loved that it was a really private moment and just for us.

We got in the car to go to dinner and when we got to the restaurant, I was stunned to see my parents, my brother and Todd’s parents and grandmother already at the restaurant. He had flown my family in to surprise me so they could be there for the celebration. It was really perfect.

8. Is he a flowers and teddy bear kind of guy for v-day, or strawberries, champagne, and rose petals?
Umm… he doesn’t really fit either of those areas. We try to get out and do something fun on or around Valentine’s Day, like go to dinner at a favorite restaurant. He typically sends flowers on Valentine’s Day, but he also tries to get me something that he knows I’ve been wanting. It’s never anything over the top. He joked the other day that we can’t spend more for Valentine’s Day gifts that what a tank of gas costs.

9. Are you a sunset dinner on the beach kind of girl, or pop a movie in and relax on the couch?
I mean, it would be pretty fantastic to be at the beach, but we definitely prefer to pop in a movie and relax on the couch. Although, I always fall asleep on the couch, which isn’t very fun for Todd.

10. Tell us one thing you’d like to do with your significant other one day. If you could do anything? Go anywhere?
There is a long list of places I’d like to travel with just him and places I’d like us to go with our boys. We’ve already done a really good bit of traveling together, but we’d both like to go to Greece and Napa together. I’m thinking Napa for my 30th birthday this year. Right, Todd?

11. Tell us what you plan on doing on this Valentine’s Day.
Since Valentine’s Day is on a Tuesday, we’re going to celebrate this Friday. There may be something else planned with the boys for Tuesday, but on Friday we’re going to dinner and going to see The Vow.

12. Are you asking for anything this Valentine’s day?
I may have emailed him some links to a couple of things I “need.” Any time I start telling him something that I might want, he just tells me to email it to him. Not super romantic, I guess, but it works.

13. Give us one piece of advice of keeping a relationship strong and full of love.
These are the things that I’ve learned: Talk to each other and work together to learn about each other and find out what makes the other one happy. Keep laughing and reminding yourselves to see the humor in everything. Don’t take everything so seriously and don’t treat marriage and parenting like a job. (That’s a few pieces of advice.)

14. Show us a picture of what love means to you.

Thank you all so much for your encouraging, honest comments, suggestions, and advice on yesterday’s post. It means a lot to me that you take time to share your thoughts with me.

It’s time for a Tuesday Brain Dump! Whoop!

• Can you tell we’ve been watching a whole lot of The Little Mermaid around here? We can’t get enough of Ariel, Sebastian, Flounder (or Clownder, as Hudson calls him) and Scuttle. And Ursula (“octopus”) is just so scary! I decided to introduce Hudson to The Little Mermaid on Friday after his nap. (Yay, naps!) It was one of my favorites as a kid. But it is kind of girly, so I wasn’t really sure how it would go. But the movie opens up with fishermen, a big boat, and a fun dog, so I thought that might hook him (no pun intended) right then. And it did! He’s a fan!
• We had been watching a whole lot of Beauty and the Beast, so The Little Mermaid is a welcome change. Hudson has all of the words to “Belle” memorized and it’s so funny to hear him say, “Bonjour… Bonjour… Bonjour, bonjour, bonjour.”
• I’m not sure that Todd is a fan of The Little Mermaid, but he’s never even seen it.
• Before I was even pregnant with Hudson I started collecting the Disney animated movies on DVD. We have a good many of them, but there are still a couple we don’t have. That darn Disney vault!
• We watched Smash last night. I loved it! I am a big Katharine McPhee from the Idol days. (I voted for her a LOT and her Somewhere Over the Rainbow is my favorite version.) I also love Debra Messing and I am a big musical theater buff. Love it!
• My mom sent me a text just after kick off for the Super Bowl on Sunday night. We were in Walmart. We missed kick off. We divide up our grocery shopping every week and get the produce and meat at Publix and then go to Walmart to buy everything else. Walmart was a zoo on Sunday night! Why did we decide to do our grocery shopping at the beginning of the Super Bowl?
• I’ve never kept it a secret that I watch the Super Bowl just for the National Anthem. And whoa, Kelly Clarkson. She didn’t disappoint! Thank goodness my DVR got it for me, so I could watch it on Monday. I thought Kelly Clarkson looked and sounded amazing!
• My very favorite Star Spangled Banner arrangement and performance was The Dixie Chicks back in 2003. Wow! Watch it on You Tube!
• My whole Brain Dump is about TV and movies…
• Todd and I have a date night coming up this weekend! We planned way ahead, scheduled a baby sitter, made dinner reservations and I’m excited! We’re going to see The Vow. (My choice, not his. It’s payback for when he chose Horrible Bosses.)

• Hayes had four straight nights of uninterrupted sleep. Hallelujah! But then he was up at 1:30 this morning. Teething, ear infections, random bursts of excitement and the need to party at midnight have had him awake at least once per night for the last month. Hopefully he’s back to sleeping.
• And he’s doing much better with his eating. He has always been so content to just have everything done for him. He’s a slow crawler. He never wanted to nurse and feeding him has always been something I worried about, so I’m so thankful that he is really starting to like food. (Thank you ALL for all of your suggestions. I need help and you are all so kind to help me! We’ve adopted a few “baby led weaning” principles thanks to so many of your suggestions and we’ve also found that he really enjoys Ella’s Kitchen baby food.)
• Have y’all ever had a hair dresser who, despite your pleas, just didn’t do what you asked? And I don’t mean cut off three inches when you wanted two inches cut off. I mean you ask for blonde hair and you don’t leave with blonde hair. I see a hair stylist “divorce” in my future.

I hope everyone’s week is off to a great start! I had a great morning at Bible study, which was completely unexpected. I had completely forgotten that it was today, but I went ahead and had a great morning.

I have a few product reviews coming up over the next few weeks in addition to a couple of fun giveaways!

I’m also hosting a Kelly’s Kids trunk show for one of my oldest friends this week. Yay!

Motherhood continues to humble me and put me in my place.

A couple of weeks ago, I was at my wits’ end. Hudson hadn’t napped in three days and I was frazzled. I felt awful and I looked tired. (Because I was tired.) But I felt badly about myself. Not because my son didn’t nap. I felt bad about myself because of the way I was reacting to him.

We were butting heads. I realize now that he was “escalating” in response to me. I was frustrated that he wasn’t napping. It wasn’t so bad during the time that he was supposed to be napping, but it was bad about an hour before bed time. He wasn’t obeying me. He wasn’t listening to me. And there just a big disconnect.

The biggest mistake I made was losing my patience. I consider this to be my biggest battle. And after I’d lose my patience and scold him, I’d spend the next three hours beating myself up and hating the person I was that day. I was frustrated, angry and just done. It was a horrible cycle and it was a horrible week for me. And I’m sure it was bad for Hudson, too.

The last day without a nap was a Thursday. On Thursday night, I prayed very specifically for Friday. I prayed for my attitude. I prayed that I would be full of optimism and creativity when thinking of ways to focus on Hudson and to do things to make Hudson feel loved and like he had my undivided attention.

I started thinking about why I was so upset that he didn’t nap. And I realized, of course, that all the reasons were selfish reasons. When he doesn’t nap, I can’t get anything done. The laundry doesn’t get folded. Dinner doesn’t get prepped. I can’t check emails, return phone calls, or sit down to write and update my blog and check Twitter. These things aren’t insignificant, but they’re not worth the reaction I had to losing a nap.

I prayed again as soon as I woke up on Friday morning. I didn’t want a repeat of Thursday and I wanted us to have a good day. I know that toddlers can be very hard to please, but I realized that Hudson was responding to me and my busyness. I felt extreme guilt for wanting to get him tucked in for his nap as soon as possible so I could rush off and use the next two hours to do things I wanted to do. I know it’s normal to crave those quiet hours to ourselves, but I’m telling you, this wasn’t normal.

Friday morning, I deleted Twitter and Facebook from my phone to remove the temptation to check in throughout the day. I didn’t want anything to make Hudson feel like he had to “act out” to get my attention.

That day was a fun day. We went to Little Gym, like we do every Friday, and we started a new Friday tradition of going to Chick-fil-A and taking it to the park for a picnic lunch. We had so much fun. He followed directions at Little Gym and he played hard at the park. (Hayes slept in his stroller at the park.)

When we got home, he asked to wash his hands and then he told me he was ready for his nap.

I tucked him in and laid down beside him. He dozed off within five minutes.

That day was the start of something new. Sure, things are a challenge. And they’re not perfect. And just because we had a great day, things won’t always be great. But I’ve noticed a change in myself since then- and a change in Hudson as a result. All I can control is my reaction to my children.

I have one chance with each of them. I want to be proud of how I did my “job” every day. I want to feel satisfied and I want to know that I did all I could to show them how much I love them.

It’s important to me to keep up with my home and get the things done that I need to get done, but I don’t want to run a tight ship. My relationship with my children and their happiness should always come first.

*The adorable fish bowl shirt and check pants that Hudson is wearing are from She She Made. (Hayes has a custom made long all, too, but he goes through 3 outfits a day and spit up right before I took his picture.) Ashley has become a dear friend of mine and creates the cutest things for boys and girls. I love these outfits she made for my boys. She is always updating her online store, so check it out! And follow She She Made on Facebook.

I am such a sucker for the pink and red. I walk into stores in January and February and I am consumed with the urge to grab everything Valentine’s Day-related and throw it into my cart without even evaluating whether or not I need it or even want it!

(This is why I’ve only been in grocery stores so far in 2012!)

So I love the Valentine’s Day goodies and, while I can avoid the stores, I can’t avoid my favorite blogs, Etsy sellers, or Pinterest.

My friends at Sweet Birdie’s Nest have created the cutest Valentine’s Day printable collection and it is geared toward school children. I am so excited that Hudson can pass out Valentine’s at school this year. I’m in charge of the Valentine’s Day party, so I’m really excited about this printable cupcake toppers and goodies for treat bags. They created a boys’ collection and a girls’ collection. Aren’t they cute?

The whole collection is just $5.00!

My favorite fine paper resource, Minted., has some gorgeous Valentine’s Day paper this year.

Minted Classroom Valentine’s Day Cards
The classroom Valentine’s Day cards are small and meant to be handed out. So they actually cannot be mailed.

These Williams Sonoma X and O S’mores are just so cute. If they showed up on my door step around Valentine’s Day I’d be pretty excited!

And these Heart Pie Pops? I love them! They’re just so sweet– and no doubt tasty. These are perfect for a Valentine’s Day evening spent at home.

My blog friend, Sarah, created this printable that I just love! You print it, frame it, grab a dry erase marker, and put it somewhere in your house for you and your honey to write little notes to each other. And it’s FREE!

The link to the printable is on Sarah’s blog!

photo via Life Sweet Life

(if you want to *pin* this, please do it from Sarah’s blog)

I love these personalized pajamas from Chasing Fireflies for a little girl.