image via The Wheat Field on Etsy

Hudson is on Spring Break starting today. I wish it was a super fun thing and we were going on vacation. But, no vacations this time. It’s just preschool Spring Break.

Hudson actually loves school. He cries every day when we leave his teachers. Every morning when we’re getting dressed, I have to say, “Mrs. Julie needs you to obey Mommy and get dressed.” He adores his teachers.

I’m a little bit worried about this next week or so- just because I want to make sure Hudson doesn’t get bored. When I’m at home with Hayes and Hudson is at school, I focus a lot on Hayes because that’s the only one-on-one time he gets all day. So I need some activities to keep Hudson entertained and engaged. I don’t want him to get bored.

One day we will go to the zoo and another day we’ll go to EdVenture, our local children’s museum. We’re going to dye Easter eggs another day. But I need a few fun projects and crafts or outings we can do every day.

I’m actually tempted to set up a daily schedule for him so he’ll have some things he knows he can look forward to.

So, please, readers and friends. Give me your best ideas! Anything fun you’ve seen on Pinterest? Crafts that aren’t super involved?

We’ll also go to the park and maybe even break out the baby pool on a hot day. But I want to be prepared to have a fun week with fun activities. Any early childhood teachers with some fun ideas?

Happy Spring Break week to any of you who are out this next week, too!

I think there are three different groups of pregnant women:  1. Those who love pregnancy and feel better than they have in their entire lives, 2. Those who are counting down the days for it to be over because of swelling, nausea, bed rest, preeclampsia, or any other ailment, and 3. Those who see pregnancy as a means to an end. You love some things and there are some things you don’t love.

I fell into that third category with both pregnancies. I spent the first trimester (and some of the second) getting sick all day every day. When I was working, this was extremely challenging, and often awkward. But around 19 or 20 weeks, I bounced back! I had more energy than ever and I actually felt great!

The countdown, for me, started at the beginning of the third trimester. Something about the day that baby bump pops and seems to double in size overnight makes you realize, “Oh my word! That’s a little person!” My bump got really big really quickly.

Those doctor appointments in the last weeks were challenging. My bump got in the way every week when I went to the restroom to give a urine sample. Seriously, how awkward is that? I’d dread the moment when I had to get on the scale every week. I removed my shoes, of course, but how much did my shoes actually weigh? Three ounces? That’s nothing in the grand scheme of 45-pound weight gain.

I would waddle around and strangers would stop me to talk to me, for no reason other than to congratulate me or ask me when I was due. Men and women would hold the door open for me when I was entering buildings. There is just something about a pregnant woman. And it’s good that they do this. It made me feel pretty. It made me realize just how special this time was. And people just love a baby.

You know how I’m an introvert and hate small talk? When you’re pregnant, small talk is easy! You have a guaranteed topic. People want to ask questions and you can answer. Now, of course there are the people who ask the completely inappropriate questions that make your face turn bright red and you have to sit there and wonder how long you can pretend that you didn’t hear the question.

But the attention does make you feel pretty, and that is wonderful because, for me, that wasn’t at all what I was feeling when I looked in the mirror. I was swollen. My cheeks had swallowed my face. I didn’t have ankles anymore and I saw the size of my hips and wondered if they would ever return to normal.

But in that final night before we brought Hudson home, I realized that none of this was about me. This was all for Hudson. He was going to come home and he is ours! We get to love him and raise him and teach him. So before when I was freaking out about weight gain and heartburn, then I started to get extremely emotional. A baby. Our baby!

I started imagining the first time we’d meet him and what that would feel like. Would it be instant, all-consuming, make-your-heart-ache love? Of course it would! Of course, before he was born the only books I read were baby-name books and pregnancy books. I didn’t read a thing about what to actually do with a baby when he came home.

So then I really started to worry the night before. Because, I mean, one day I’m not a mom yet and then in an instant I am? I’m just all of a sudden someone’s mom? I realized in that night, as I lay awake thinking about the day ahead of us, that I would remember every single detail about the next couple of days for the rest of my life. I knew that the next day I was going to meet the person that would change my life forever. So, no matter what the previous nine months were for me, none of that mattered anymore. It was all about Hudson.

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This post was sponsored by SC Johnson. These are my honest opinions on the product. I do not post reviews on products I can’t stand behind.

I love giving gifts and selecting gifts for friends. Several of our friends are having babies in the next few months or just recently had a baby – this is such a wonderful opportunity to do something nice for our friends and show them how much they mean to us.

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Hope.

I lay awake at night, most nights, after my kids have gone to bed. I think about how young they are. I think about how many years we have to go. I think about the magnitude and responsibility of raising them.

Who do I want them to be? Who do they want to be? How will I influence them? How do I want to influence them?

When I yelled at Hudson today, did it have long term damage? Will he even remember it in the morning?

I just get overwhelmed with the responsibility. There are two perfect (a mother can call them perfect) little people that are mine and the decisions Todd and I make every day impact their lives.

But today I had a big, eye-opening moment. Todd and I have dedicated Hudson and Hayes to the Lord. We recommitted our own lives to Christ, to each other, and then asked God to help us raise these boys in His way. And I trust that God is going to help us do that.

What about when I lose my patience or my temper and speak to them in an unloving way? Or when they realize that I am imperfect.

Or when they learn to ride bikes and I worry about skinned knees. Or when they start driving and I pray that they make it from point A to point B without an accident. I will rest easy only when they are safe at home.

But I know that their future is in God’s hands. Not mine. And bad things will happen to them along the way. Their feelings will be hurt. They will have injuries — hopefully only minor injuries. Their hearts will be broken and they will face rejection. But I trust that God is working out their precious lives. And I know that He trusts me to raise Hudson and Hayes.

God isn’t going to leave me or forsake me, and I know He’s not going to leave or forsake my boys. Just as I’m not going to leave or forsake my boys. I’m like that mother bunny in The Runaway Bunny (by Margaret Wise Brown).

illustration by Clement Hurd

They may try to leave me, but I will always bring them home, no matter how hurt, disappointed or frustrated I am. The love is unconditional. And when things get hard, I can turn to the Father.

And my daily prayer is that Hudson and Hayes also turn to the Father. God’s plan for their future is even bigger than we could ever hope.

So this hope. The hope comes from the assurance that we’re not walking this path alone. That even though the bumps and bruises and broken hearts will come, God’s love is stronger and is our anchor.

Today I’m praying this. For myself and for my boys.

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”  Romans 15:13