How do you show your kids you love them and think they’re wonderful without helping them grow up to be entitled and self-important?

I want my boys to know the value of a strong work ethic, but I also want them to know just how much I love them. I want my words and my actions to leave them without a doubt that I think they’re the greatest little people (and eventually big people) in the world.

Is it so wrong to grow up knowing that your parents think you’re the great person to walk the planet?

My friend, Crist, and I were discussing this the other day. Confidence goes a long way. And we all struggle with confidence, insecurity, and self esteem for very different reasons. As I’ve gotten older, I’m insecure about completely different things than I was before I had kids.

I was watching the news on Sunday morning and someone was being interviewed about raising kids to be entitled and what we can do about it. How do we build up their self esteem without raising a bunch of people that no one wants to work with or live with?

This guy suggested praising your kids for their accomplishments and achievements rather than their characteristics. And, I have to say that I disagree with him here a bit. I totally agree that accomplishments and achievements should be praised. But girls just need to be told they’re pretty. Period. If your mother can’t tell you that you’re pretty, who will?

If my kids are just generally kind and polite, I want to praise them for being kind and polite. If they look handsome and adorable, I want to tell them that I think they look handsome and adorable.

In my opinion, another key thing here is making sure to give them constructive criticism and discipline when it’s needed. They certainly don’t need to grow up thinking they’re perfect. But knowing that they’re loved? Is so important to me. Knowing that someone thinks they’re amazing and deserving of success? Also important to me.

Knowing they need to work hard to succeed no matter what they decide to be someday? Invaluable. But knowing that they can always come to us for advice and support is equally important to me.

I don’t want to raise entitled kids. But I also don’t want to raise bitter kids. I don’t want my kids to be resentful because they feel like they weren’t praised enough. I don’t want them to look at other people who are successful and be so obviously jealous that it’s impossible to be around them.

My prayer is that I can find a balance in raising them to be confident, but humble. Gracious and kind. Proud of their successes and ready to work hard to correct their failures.

But, more than anything, I want them to know that their worth comes from God alone. They won’t find it in a girlfriend. They won’t find it in Todd or me. They won’t find it in sports or good grades. Those things will all help them feel good and have confidence, but they shouldn’t define them.

What do you think? How do we find that balance of showing them that we think they’re fantastic without turning them into entitled adults?

2 Timothy 2:1

You then, my son, be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus.

*Sweet Hayes isn’t feeling well at all, but I wanted to share all of this with y’all. I hope everyone has a great day!

Actually, there’s not that much madness going on. It’s going to be a biggish party because we’re planning to have lots of friends there.

We tend to go all out for the first birthday and then scale way back for the second and third. Hudson’s not even having a party this year– we’ll be at the beach with our family. So we’ll do something low key and quiet.

Fortunately, I’ve been able to get lots of the supplies for Hayes’s party from Amazon.com and then I’ll be making the rest of it. And I really do love to craft stuff like this while I’m watching bad television shows.

We’re planning on lots of yummy Mexican food. Lots of pinatas for the older kids. Yummy drinks for adults. A fun smash cake for Hayes and bite size desserts for the guests.

The thing I’m most excited about is just being outside and celebrating our little man with so many friends and family members.

I decided to make this a really bright, colorful party. We’re having it outside in a gorgeous green setting, so I wanted lots of colors that would pop. I’m excited to see it all come together that day!

We’ve picked up lots of fun Cinco de Mayo “props” like mustaches, sombreros and maracas. But it will be a fun day with friends celebrating Hayes’s first year at his very first fiesta!

I wanted to share my inspiration board with all of you.

All of the original sources can be found on my Pinterest board for this fiesta.

On Easter Sunday, Todd, the boys and I were on our way home from church. We turned onto our street and another car was turning off of our street. It was a big, white truck and the driver looked identical to someone I used to work with.

So I pulled out my phone and found my former coworker’s number saved and shot him a text. He lived in New York before he moved here, so I remembered that when I saw the (212) area code before I sent the text. The text said, “Hey! I am pretty sure I just saw you driving a big white truck on my street!”

So a couple of minutes later I got a response that said, “How you get this number?”

I just assumed that my friend had changed his number and now someone else had the number. So I just didn’t respond.

A couple of minutes later, my phone rang and it was my friend’s number. I answered and said, “Hey! How are you doing?”

It wasn’t him. The voice on the other end sounded nothing like him and the guy said, “Who is this and how did you get this number? How do you know I drive a white truck?”

Uhhh…. So I explained that a friend of mine used to have the number and I’m so sorry for texting the wrong person. I wished him a very happy Easter and thanked him for understanding.

At this point, Todd’s parents had arrived at our house. I had put some of our Easter lunch side dishes in the oven. We were hiding Easter eggs for Hudson to hunt.

Then another call came in from another (212) area code number and I answered. It was a girl. And again, I explained to her what had happened. She said, “Okay. Bye.”

By now, I was getting all worked up because it was an innocent mistake and I was just trying to say hey to an old friend.

While we were hunting Easter eggs with Hudson, I missed three more calls from random (212) area code numbers. At this point, Todd just told me to stop answering the calls. So I did.

But then one final text came in that made me say, “What in the world?! This is bonkers!”

So I decided to respond to this one because his girlfriend was obviously checking his messages and I thought, “It’s Easter. I need to nip this conversation in the bud and let this guy know that I just thought I was sending a message to an old friend. I’m not a threat to this fella’s girlfriend. I live 1,000 miles away. I don’t know these people. We’re just trying to have a good Easter.”

I sent my final message and that was it. But sheesh. What a strange back-and-forth.

I never did get in touch with my former coworker. But I will still swear that it was him driving down my street in a big white truck. It’s a shame I don’t have his number.

Has anything like this ever happened to you?

If someone calls or texts me and they have the wrong number, I just let them know they have the wrong number and it’s over.

We had a really fun, eventful day yesterday. One of Hudson’s good friends from school had a birthday party at our neighborhood park. It was fun to hang out with my friends while all of our kids played. I wanted to get a picture of them together, but they were having too much fun to stop and take a picture.

I had to rush off to a Junior League shift for the Touch a Truck fundraiser. This is such a great event for kids. They get to climb up in firetrucks, ambulances, tractors, and all kinds of other heavy machinery and big trucks. I worked the shift with my friend Allison. I just adore her and it had been too long since we were able to sit and catch up. It definitely helped the time go by quickly.

Todd brought Hudson to the event and Hudson had the greatest time. He even got his first snow cone! And he got to climb in the back seat of a police car! (I hope this is the last time.)

He climbed way up on top of a tractor!

When we all got home, we went on a long walk. Fiona was the only one of us that stayed home. (She can’t walk farther than just our block because of a slight knee problem. But she is allowed on the furniture, so she doesn’t mind too much.)

We walked to the nearby middle school so Hudson and Boudreaux could just run around. They had a blast.

Boudreaux chased the tennis ball for a long time until he had just had enough and couldn’t run anymore.

There were some boys and a dad out in the park playing kick ball, but Boudreaux didn’t pay them any attention, thankfully. He has so much energy and I’m glad that the days are longer so we can go on long walks together and let Boudreaux do lots of romping.

And little Hayes was content to sit in his stroller and watch. Every time Boudreaux brought the ball back, Hayes would just laugh and laugh. I sat next to Hayes and read him a few books that we’d put in the bottom of the stroller. He’s such a happy boy.