Hayes is 3!

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Dear Hayes,

We woke you up this morning to sing happy birthday to you, and brought you downstairs to open your presents and have a donut fiesta. You were so excited. It’s like you couldn’t believe that today was actually YOUR birthday. Finally!

We all call you Hayesie. Your classmates, Hudson, and all the teachers, too. So sometimes when we ask you what your name is, you’ll say, “Hayesie.” It’s hilarious, but then sometimes I think we should stop so you don’t grow up thinking your name is Hayesie.

Being your mother is one of the sweetest privileges of my life. You are my sweetheart. You are the little light in this house that is always shining. Always beaming. Always laughing and looking for the party.

When someone is sad, you hug them. When someone is laughing, you tell them how funny they are. You greet everyone you meet with a smile. When we have visitors at the house, you want to take them around and show them your room and your favorite toys. You want everyone to feel as welcome as possible, and I just love that about you.

You’re our little wild card. Sitting still is not your favorite. You love to move and dance and do anything physical. You talk all the time and you don’t have a mean streak in your body. You’re not always obedient, but you are always sweet. I could cry just thinking about the way you hug using your whole body. And the way you grab my face to kiss my cheek. Totally unprompted… just because you’re you and you’re so loving.

If Hudson taught me how to be a mommy, you have taught me how to slow down to enjoy every single day. You’ve reminded me what a gift it is to be a mommy and what a joy it is to be your mommy and Hudson’s mommy. You love to enjoy everything for what it is. We take walks and hold hands. You soak every little thing up.

Even though you’re always running, you’re never actually in a hurry. When we opened your presents this morning, you wanted to stop and savor that first present. You weren’t ready to see what was in the next one. I get all teary thinking about what a good friend you will be and I just know that you’ll be the kid that everyone wants to be around because you treat everyone like they’re special.

I’m so thankful for your sweet little spirit and I’m so thankful for the way you rub off on the rest of us. I look at you and I still see my tiny little baby. Watching you grow up has been tough because I know you’re still really so little, but the time sure does go by quickly.

There aren’t enough words for me to tell you how wonderful you are and how much fun you are. But I will love you, love you, love you for as long as I live, and because of you, I’ll slow down a little bit more every day. You are such a light. Happy birthday, my sweet baby boy!

Love,

Mommy

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six years

anniversary

Six years ago.

It would be easy (and fun) to tell you all about that great day six years ago when Todd and I vowed to love, honor, and cherish each other forever. That was a great day.

But that day was just the beginning.

For 2,190 days, Todd and I have been doing life. With two babies, two dogs, three houses (one temporary while building a house), one baby loss, three job changes, parent sickness, and day-to-day responsibilities, we have done this thing!

We have recommitted every single day to loving each other and laughing together and making time for each other despite how difficult this world makes it. Despite how easy it would be to fall apart and drift apart and make time for other people and other things.

Marriage is work, y’all. It is amazing. And it is beautiful. But it is work. Life is crazy and this world will make it harder and harder on us and tempt us to fill our time with commitments that pull us from our families and spouses.

Six years ago, we committed to start. And we committed to finish together.

I am so thankful for my Todd who loves us fiercely. He makes me laugh like no one else can. He’s smarter than anyone else I know. He’s committed and loving and a romantic and deeply concerned with taking care of us. He honors the Lord with his words and actions and he honors his family every day. He’s forgiving and patient and kind and wise.

I am so thankful for that day that he literally walked into my life and stood at my desk to chat. I’m thankful that he is the man that I’m raising my kids with and that he’s the one that’s leading our family. And I’m so thankful that in the hard times and the long days that I know that he and I are both 100% committed to the Father and to each other.

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teaching our kids forgiveness… or showing them?

I’m guest posting over on Courtney DeFeo’s blog about Easter and forgiveness, and how we help our kids understand what that means.

How can they know that that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers,  neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord? (Romans 8:39-39)

Happy Easter, friends!

but greater still…

How is it possible that parenting is the most terrifying thing and the most wonderful thing in the world? But it is, right?

In those first moments of holding Hudson, I doubted myself and my abilities, but I was overwhelmed with love for him. As he and Hayes have gotten older, I’ve become even more afraid. I’m afraid of the future and the unknown of how they’ll grow up. The exposure to things at an earlier age, the changing world and my inability to shield them and protect them.

I yell and lose my patience. I let my emotions take away my ability to show grace. I pray for the courage to let them walk into the doors of kindergarten soon, and I also pray for the courage to let them drive out of the driveway. And then to move away. Into this world full of unknowns and new experiences.

And as we face my mom’s cancer and the uncertainty that her diagnosis brings us all, we find extreme comfort in the very real fact that He is alive. He lives.

I’m so grateful for His grace. The gift of His life and His resurrection. And how the good news changes everything.

I’ll just let these classic hymn lyrics do the talking.

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How sweet to hold a newborn baby,

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And feel the pride and joy he gives;

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But greater still the calm assurance:

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This child can face uncertain days because He Lives!

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Because He lives, I can face tomorrow,
Because He lives, all fear is gone;
Because I know He holds the future,
And life is worth the living,
Just because He lives!

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