I’m almost finished reading So Long Insecurity by Beth Moore. I wanted to have a head start on the conference content at the end of next week in Atlanta.

The book has been such a great resource for me to dig down deep to nail down what my specific insecurities are and why I have those insecurities. It’s much cheaper than therapy, and we know that Beth Moore is speaking the Truth, not a lot of doctor speak. I’ve learned that many other women are just as insecure as I am.

It may help me to take a minute to put my insecurities out there so I can hold myself accountable in my efforts to conquer these insecurities.

1. My appearance- specifically my weight

I know we all struggle with this. There have only been a couple of time periods in my life when I’ve actually been happy about the way I look. The scale has to say a certain number. I have to fit into a certain size clothes. I finally hit that magic number. And I finally fit into clothes that had a little number on them that I always thought was unattainable. But now, post baby, I’m a long way from those numbers and sizes. And I put so much of my self-worth and confidence into those numbers and sizes.

I’ve also started to notice that my face looks different. Maybe it’s all in my head, but I’m starting to look my age.

One of my favorite quotes from Steel Magnolias is “Honey, time marches on and eventually you realize it’s marchin’ across your face.”

I look in the mirror now and I honestly don’t feel like I look like the same care-free person that I used to. Life is definitely more stressful now because my responsibilities are greater, but I don’t want it to show up in my appearance.

I think the reason for these feelings is obvious. Magazines, celebrities, television, movies, social media. All of these factors contribute to me holding myself to a standard that is unhealthy for me and my security.

2. Inadequacy

When I was working, I always felt like I didn’t have a prestigious enough job. I worked for the state and I was surrounded by attorneys (my husband’s friends). Or I’d meet people at meetings who had jobs that seemed much more important than mine.

I spend too much time basing my self-worth on what someone else has done or accomplished.

I always knew that my decisions about what field of study and work I wanted to enter were the right decisions, but I also felt like I had a lot of explaining to do about what it was I was doing. This made me feel so tired and I ended up avoiding the topic, most of the time.

Now, I couldn’t be more proud of the work that I do every day in our home.

3.  Nobody Likes Me

I’m an outgoing person and I love meeting new people. But I always walk away wondering if someone likes me. Or if I don’t get invited to something and I feel like everyone else got invited, I start feeling like someone doesn’t like me and doesn’t want to be my friend.

I have fantastic friends and I am absolutely content with the beautiful relationships that I have in my life. But something always reminds me that I wasn’t invited to a certain girls outing or wasn’t included in something else and I always start to take it personally.

Actually it’s not something that reminds me. It’s Satan.

As for why I feel this way, I’d say it probably has a lot to do with the fact that I’ve moved so many times and have started over in new schools and new towns. These experiences were wonderful in the end, but the beginning was always rough. Looking for new friends and trying to figure out where you fit in can be challenging at any age.

Reading this book has been such an eye-opening experience for me. It has been great for me to tackle my insecurities and face them head-on. They haven’t vanished, by any means, but I can deal with every day and remind myself to say goodbye to insecurity.

I think the most important thing to remember is that if you’re struggling with insecurity, you’re definitely not the only one. The girl that you most admire and aspire to be like is probably even more insecure than you are.

My goal every day is to let the Lord be my source of security and to ask Him to help me to love myself just as much as He loves me. I was created to be the woman that He wants me to be. And the most I can do is live my life to honor Him.

Hudson and I are in Dallas this week visiting my parents and I’ve been able to see lots of friends while I’ve been here.

Today, Hudson and I got to meet up with my friend Mrs. Preppy and her daughter, A. We decided to have a picnic at the Dallas Arboretum and walk around looking at the beautiful blooms. We stopped by Central Market on the way and picked up some yummy sandwiches.

Hudson and A were adorable in the backseat in their car seats. They kept looking at each other and A would say, “hey!” It was the cutest thing.

We had a great time and I always love spending time with them. It’s especially nice to spend time with other moms and kids.

Of course we took some pictures of our sweet babies today.

Mr. Social fell asleep just after we finished lunch, but he loved his nap while we strolled around.

If this house building thing actually goes through, I’ve got a list a mile long of ideas. And you can bet that I’ll be sharing them all with you.

But one of the first things to decide other than 1) how wide can the house be according to the lot size and 2) how deep can the house be according to the lot is 3) what style of house do I like? The first two questions are hard to answer because we do not own a lot because we aren’t completely committed to this process. Selling our current house is priority number one.

Southern Living has a great online resource for house plans and I’ve found a few that I like. Our big criteria, more than minimum square footage, is have good, usable square footage. The purpose of this move is to get more space for our expanding family, so this move needs to last us a while. I don’t want the square footage to be choppy and separated. I want openness that helps us feel like we have more space than we do. I like traditional styles and Southern styles and I have a lot of houses of this kind saved into my “house ideas” bookmark folder on the computer.

My favorite style, however is Acadian or Country French– also known as South Louisiana Amazingness Style. I’m a Louisiana girl. I want to build a Louisiana house if we’re able to.

I love the interesting roof lines and all the windows. These designs are from Acadiana Home Design.

What is your favorite style of home? Do you like old bungalows? Traditional two-story? Low country? Tudor? Colonial?

Once again, my Friday post is going to be a jumbled mess of random tid bits. So stay with me. I’ve been stumped for content lately (hopefully you haven’t noticed).

1. I finished Love The One You’re With last weekend. It was my fourth straight Emily Giffin book. I am now on my sixth book of the year and I am two books ahead in my 2010 reading list. I’ve got to say that I liked parts of the book. I thought her husband was wonderful and adorable. I could see why she still might have feelings for her exboyfriend. But I thought she was a complainer and couldn’t see the joy in her seemingly perfect life. She should have been counting her lucky stars for marrying into such a wonderful family that included her best friend and being in a position to not worry about money and still do what she loved.

2. I’m straying a little bit on my reading list and reading Beth Moore’s So Long Insecurity before the trip to Atlanta at the end of the month. I often struggle with non-fiction, but I love the topic of this book and love Mrs. Moore!

3. This has been the first year that we’ve ever had to pay taxes. Holy robbery, Batman.

4. We met with a builder and looked at lots in the neighborhood that we love yesterday. I don’t have many details yet because nothing is firm. But it has been so informative to explore all of our options and it is surprisingly inexpensive to build right now. I appreciate those of you that have sent me emails about the building process. Our house goes on the market on Monday, so we’re about to enter a world of constant cleaning. Hopefully we’ll show our house every day and someone will snatch it up!

5. I never really considered building a house to be an option for us. I’m usually constantly tearing out home decor inspiration, but now that we’re discussing the building process, I’ve kind of frozen and don’t really know what to do.

6. Our New York City plans are all finalized and I can’t wait to share our plans with you. I’m so excited!

7. As most of you know, my favorite book, The Help, is being made into a movie. Some of the casting is finalized already (with Emma Stone cast as Skeeter). Who is in your dream cast of The Help?

8. I’m loving Dancing With The Stars this season. Erin and Maks are my favorite. I’m not a fan of Nicole and Derek. They’re good, but they’re cocky.

American Idol is okay. It’s one of my favorite shows, but I can honestly say that I don’t really care who wins this year. I like Casey, Lee, Crystal and Katie. But I could take it or leave it.

I have abandoned The Biggest Loser. After the Olympics I just didn’t care anymore. I’m more into the scripted dramas right now.

Last night on Project Runway, we found out which contestants are going to get to design a collection for fashion week. I won’t give anything away, but I think I know who my favorite is. It has been a pretty good season!

The Damages finale is close and it is getting so good! I can’t believe this season is almost over! The Lost finale is getting closer, too. I feel like they’re finally answering some questions.

I’m hoping that once all of the season finales air in May I can take a break from TV this summer. Except for Mad Men.