I have to say, I am thankful the weekend is over. The weekend is over and Todd is back home.

Every year, Todd goes on a guys’ trip with his law school friends. Each year they choose a different destination that is close to where one of the guys lives and they play golf. I think they play something like 72 holes in three days. It’s a lot of golf, but they love it. And this is when of my favorite traditions. Because even though the wives don’t tag along, I love that Todd makes time every year to see his good friends and that they have this tradition that helps them all get recharged.

Almost all of them are dads now and I heard there were a lot of funny stories about how all of their lives have changed in the last few years as their families have grown.

While he was away, we just did our best to stay afloat. We didn’t have any plans, but I tried to give us a good mix of busy time and down time. Because too much time in the house with two little ones can get a little hairy.

And we really did okay, but there were just some rocky moments. The moments where I snap at Hudson because he disobeyed me for the fifteenth time. The moments where I think I’m going to lose my mind because Hudson is back-talking me while Hayes just walks all over the house and tries to get into everything.

I took the boys to get haircuts. Hudson tolerated it and sat pretty still, yet still ended up with a choppy haircut. And Hayes absolutely lost his mind. He loathed the entire hair-cutting process. But still ended up looking pretty dapper.

But we played with RC, PC, and Nana a lot. We went to Krispie Kreme and the park. When they went to bed, I ate a Reese’s peanut butter cupcake and watched The Hunger Games.  We had a good weekend in the end, and I know it’s good for me to have the boys by myself for a few days at a time a few times each year.

It’s times like this, when I’m alone with them for days at a time, that I realize how truly grateful I am for my husband. I am grateful for him all the time, but when I really am able to see how much his presence alone “saves us” all each day, I am even more grateful. He is our glue in our little family of four, and I need that glue because lately I’ve been becoming unglued quite a lot. (If you haven’t read Lysa’s book, you must!)

Knowing every afternoon that Todd is coming home from work just gives us all a little bit of excitement about the end of the day. Daddy’s coming home and everyone gets excited.

And, way too often, I use the time that Todd gets home to just unload. I tell him about the things the boys got into. I tell him about how the dogs barked at everyone who walked by and woke the kids up. I tell him about the pushy salesman who came to our door and wouldn’t go away. I just unload. And I unload on a hard-working man who, no doubt, had his fair share of “stuff” going on all day.

While Todd was away, I recognized even more the importance of praying for him. We have a lot going on these days, and as we talk about selling our house and moving into another one, I can only imagine the pressure he feels as the sole provider for our family. There’s pressure to be the leader in every single way, including the spiritual leader.

He does so much for us all, but loving us is what he does best.

Hudson absolutely pushes me to my limit because he’s with me all day. And each day I know that when Todd gets home, the day is going to turn a corner because he is so excited to see his daddy. And I love that it’s that way. I wish that Hudson and I didn’t butt heads as much, but it’s just because I’m here with him all day.

I’ve talked before about my struggling prayer life, but lately I’ve just been praying for my husband. And praying that God is going to give him the wisdom and courage to lead us through each family decision and each bit of change. I pray that he is often recharged and is blessed in his relationships and blessed by his work.

I pray that he has a teachable spirit and shows signs of leadership at work and at church. I pray that he seeks the Lord’s will first in the midst of pressure from everyone around him, including me. There are so many moments when I make a suggestion and Todd knows it’s just not the right thing, and while he wants to please me, he has to tell me why what I want just isn’t going to work.

We’re thankful for Todd.

My other prayer is that I always show him the respect that he deserves. He is a loving husband, a wonderful father, and I couldn’t ask for more from the spiritual leader of our household. Our kids adore him and we miss him when he’s away. We’re glad he’s home!

How are you praying for your husband?

 

The start of a new school year is a new beginning. It’s a time to open up my calendar and look at the football schedule, the preschool calendar, the church calendar, the Junior League calendar, and Todd’s work calendar and start planning out our fall. Everyone gives us a jam-packed calendar and before we know it, we’ve filled in our calendars all the way to Christmas.

A few of these calendars come with opportunities to sign up to volunteer. Bake sales, t-shirt sales, concerts, class parties, room mom, organizing a class party, bringing dinner, decorating for an event… The need for help follows us around. And my usual tendency has been to look at all of these opportunities and sign myself right up.

Why do I do this?

1. I like to help make things easier for people. If someone tells me they need my help, then I want to help them. Which leads me to number two.

2. I want people to like me. Will they still like me if I say no? Probably. Most definitely. Right? Maybe not. Maybe someone will be disappointed and maybe someone will *gasp* talk about me behind my back. (I need to re-read So Long Insecurity.)

3. In many cases, I actually do better with a full schedule. I’m more productive when I’m running around like a chicken with my head cut off. I was this way in my job and I’m this way when I’m at home.

But not this year. Not. This. Year.

I’m giving myself a grace year. I’m saying no.

I’m still going to do the Holiday Market decorations because I love it. And we’ll still be really involved with our Sunday school class. And I’ll still participate in our Christmas music at church.

But the extra stuff isn’t for me. Not right now. Any extra time is reserved for my family and my friends and relationships. I don’t want to tell anyone this year that I can’t get together for dinner because of an obligation.

I don’t want to miss putting my babies to bed because I’m setting up for an event.

I don’t want to miss opportunities for girls’ nights and I don’t want my laundry to pile up all because I’ve over-extended myself.

Here’s what I need to remember.

1. If I’m disappointing someone, it’s not going to be my family members. No, sir. Not this year.

2. I can’t do it all, and I shouldn’t want to do it all.

3. My value and worth is not determined by the amount of projects I attempt to tackle. My worth is find in Christ Jesus alone. His grace is enough for me. And I don’t need to search for approval from others or create a full calendar to find that worth. He loves me. Unconditionally. What else do I need to know? What else could I possibly need to fill me up?

I want to serve. I want to help people. I want to pull my weight and contribute where there is a need. But my kids are only little once. I have a lifetime ahead of me to do all of these things.

And I know that I can make even more of a difference if I take that previously “booked” time and devote it to the relationships in my life.

 

photo by Sarah Lyn Photography in Destin, Florida

2 Corinthians 12:9

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. ” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.