Faith

the search for simple significance

Sep42012

Life as a mother, particularly a stay-at-home mother, can get a little lonely. We have the constant company of our sweet little ones, who aren’t necessarily sweet all the time. But there isn’t a whole lot of interaction with friends and peers, and many days we go to bed and realize that other than with our immediate family members, we haven’t had a real conversation.

I know, for me, some of the days can feel lonely. And even though I know deep in my heart that my work at home is significant, I can start to feel pretty insignificant.

But I realized not too long ago that my work is not just in the home. We have incredible opportunities to make a huge impact on someone’s day and someone’s attitude.

Mother to mother, this is something that we can do for each other.

A couple of months ago, my mom and I were driving back to South Carolina from Indiana with the boys, and we stopped at a restaurant to have lunch. The hostess was an attractive, friendly woman about my mom’s age. She walked us to our table and limped the whole way there. I let her know we’d need a high chair and as she limped away from us to go get it, I said, “Can I get that for you? I’m happy to do it.”

She stopped and just looked at me, then said, “It’s my pleasure to get it. But thank you so much. No one has ever offered to help me before.”

I don’t know why she was limping, but it wasn’t hard to notice that she must have been in pain. And I honestly couldn’t believe that no one had ever offered to help her.

I’m not telling this story to pat myself on the back. There are plenty of times when I am completely oblivious because I’m too busy with what I’m doing to even notice what’s going on. But the kind woman’s words stuck with me, and I decided to make it a point to be more observant. I want to take the time to notice other people, and be considerate.

It made me feel better, and the woman told me it made her feel better. The look of appreciation on her face would have made anyone’s day.

There are so many mornings when I’m doing drop off at school that I just feel like I’m in a daze. I know what it takes us to get ourselves together and out the door in the mornings. But imagine the possibilities if I just put a smile on my face.

If I pass another mom in the hallway, what does it do to her day if I smile at her, or say hello. There’s a strong possibility that she had the same kind of morning that I did.

When I’m unloading my kids and see another mom struggling to get hers unloaded, how can I impact her day just by offering to help?

Because that little smile or that wave? It says, “I get it. I’ve been there.” And don’t we all just want to feel like someone understands?

Maybe I’ll be a little late for my next stop. Or I’ll spend ten minutes talking to another mom in the hallway when I could be halfway finished with my first errand. But it’s okay to slow down a little bit

We have no idea what people may be struggling with. But if I consider my own struggles and the things that caused me to lose my patience or the things that got my day off to a rotten start, it’s likely that other moms were right there with me.

In this year when I’m saying “no” and focusing more on relationships, I’m committing to take time to notice people. I’m taking time to offer a helping hand to someone. Or just offering a smile and a wave. Or just a quick text to say that I’m thinking of you.

I don’t know about you, but the times that I get a text from someone saying, “You’ve been on my mind today,” my day is made. Someone was thinking of me. And I want to have a positive impact on someone’s day that way.

We have so many opportunities for great significance outside of our own homes. And most days, all we need is a little bit of adult interaction and the realization that we did something to positively impact someone’s day.

Source: joyfulwhimsy.blogspot.com via Erin on Pinterest

praying for your husband

Filed Under: Faith

Aug282012

I have to say, I am thankful the weekend is over. The weekend is over and Todd is back home.

Every year, Todd goes on a guys’ trip with his law school friends. Each year they choose a different destination that is close to where one of the guys lives and they play golf. I think they play something like 72 holes in three days. It’s a lot of golf, but they love it. And this is when of my favorite traditions. Because even though the wives don’t tag along, I love that Todd makes time every year to see his good friends and that they have this tradition that helps them all get recharged.

Almost all of them are dads now and I heard there were a lot of funny stories about how all of their lives have changed in the last few years as their families have grown.

While he was away, we just did our best to stay afloat. We didn’t have any plans, but I tried to give us a good mix of busy time and down time. Because too much time in the house with two little ones can get a little hairy.

And we really did okay, but there were just some rocky moments. The moments where I snap at Hudson because he disobeyed me for the fifteenth time. The moments where I think I’m going to lose my mind because Hudson is back-talking me while Hayes just walks all over the house and tries to get into everything.

I took the boys to get haircuts. Hudson tolerated it and sat pretty still, yet still ended up with a choppy haircut. And Hayes absolutely lost his mind. He loathed the entire hair-cutting process. But still ended up looking pretty dapper.

But we played with RC, PC, and Nana a lot. We went to Krispie Kreme and the park. When they went to bed, I ate a Reese’s peanut butter cupcake and watched The Hunger Games. We had a good weekend in the end, and I know it’s good for me to have the boys by myself for a few days at a time a few times each year.

It’s times like this, when I’m alone with them for days at a time, that I realize how truly grateful I am for my husband. I am grateful for him all the time, but when I really am able to see how much his presence alone “saves us” all each day, I am even more grateful. He is our glue in our little family of four, and I need that glue because lately I’ve been becoming unglued quite a lot. (If you haven’t read Lysa’s book, you must!)

Knowing every afternoon that Todd is coming home from work just gives us all a little bit of excitement about the end of the day. Daddy’s coming home and everyone gets excited.

And, way too often, I use the time that Todd gets home to just unload. I tell him about the things the boys got into. I tell him about how the dogs barked at everyone who walked by and woke the kids up. I tell him about the pushy salesman who came to our door and wouldn’t go away. I just unload. And I unload on a hard-working man who, no doubt, had his fair share of “stuff” going on all day.

While Todd was away, I recognized even more the importance of praying for him. We have a lot going on these days, and as we talk about selling our house and moving into another one, I can only imagine the pressure he feels as the sole provider for our family. There’s pressure to be the leader in every single way, including the spiritual leader.

He does so much for us all, but loving us is what he does best.

Hudson absolutely pushes me to my limit because he’s with me all day. And each day I know that when Todd gets home, the day is going to turn a corner because he is so excited to see his daddy. And I love that it’s that way. I wish that Hudson and I didn’t butt heads as much, but it’s just because I’m here with him all day.

I’ve talked before about my struggling prayer life, but lately I’ve just been praying for my husband. And praying that God is going to give him the wisdom and courage to lead us through each family decision and each bit of change. I pray that he is often recharged and is blessed in his relationships and blessed by his work.

I pray that he has a teachable spirit and shows signs of leadership at work and at church. I pray that he seeks the Lord’s will first in the midst of pressure from everyone around him, including me. There are so many moments when I make a suggestion and Todd knows it’s just not the right thing, and while he wants to please me, he has to tell me why what I want just isn’t going to work.

We’re thankful for Todd.

My other prayer is that I always show him the respect that he deserves. He is a loving husband, a wonderful father, and I couldn’t ask for more from the spiritual leader of our household. Our kids adore him and we miss him when he’s away. We’re glad he’s home!

How are you praying for your husband?

bravery and confidence

Filed Under: Faith

Aug272012

In the car last night, I was having a conversation with a friend about what has happened in the last three plus years.

Gradually, day by day, since the fall of 2008, a little piece of the old me has been replaced with a little piece of the new me. It’s motherhood. I lose sight of so much of what I used to be, because so few things are the same as they were before the fall of 2008, when I found out I was pregnant with Hudson, our first baby.

To use the word “lose” seems a little wrong, though, right? I’m not the same person, though I wrote a blog post or two a couple years ago insisting that I was the same person. But I’m really not. How could I possibly be?

With the introduction of motherhood to our lives, we truly learn about unconditional love. We know what it really feels like for our hearts to break. We know the feeling of all-consuming love that keep us up at night and cause us to sneak into our kids’ rooms just to smell their clean hair and hold their little hands.

With Hudson, I was just absolutely clueless. And pretty darn terrified. The night before he was born I was flooded with emotion and didn’t sleep a wink. I had no earthly clue what we were going to do.

And then Hudson taught be how to be brave. He needed me, and I knew that my love for him could pull out all kinds of bravery. I was scared, but I could do it. I wasn’t going to freeze up. I was going to do what needed to be done, even though I was terrified and didn’t know what I was doing.

Then my sweet little Hayes. Hayes helped me find confidence. This time? I did know what I was doing. I didn’t lose sleep over his arrival because I was afraid. I cherished my sleep!

He showed me that I could multi-task and keep my cool.

Hayes showed me that with confidence comes the reminder to slow down and soak it all in. I already knew how quickly the time flies, but my little Hayes was going to stay little as long as possible.

There are many, many moments in the day where I’m not soaking it all in and where I don’t feel confident- or even brave. I want to throw in the towel and find a place to sit by myself for a few quiet minutes. There are moments when I do forget that time flies and I find myself wishing time away until they are more self-sufficient and scream a lot less.

But with each day, I learn a new lesson. Aside from bravery and confidence, I have to remember to stop and let the moment pass before I react.

photo by Sarah Lyn Photography

Hudson has the hard job of being the one that helps me learn. He’s the one that helps me conquer my fears. He’s the one that makes me extra emotional when we butt heads or when he makes me so proud I could burst. He’s the one that will run out in front of traffic first because he refused to hold my hand. He’s the one that will say a bad word first. Each first for him is also a first for me. Because I really just have to figure all of this stuff out every day as it comes.

And maybe this is why I cherish every little thing with Hayes so much. Because I’m more confident in myself this time, and I remind myself to just breathe and take it all in.

Just as each baby is different, I’m different, too. And my relationship with each of them is completely different.

And there’s just no possible way that I’m the same person that I was four years ago. I see less and less of the “old Erin” each day. And I am so thankful for these boys and the sweet lessons they’re teaching me.