James Walker’s Newborn Photos

When James Walker was six days old, the amazing Jordan of Landon Jacob photography came over to do his newborn photos. It was such a relaxing time. I just love Jordan and she is so easy to work with and relaxed, and it made all of us relaxed, too. You can imagine that photographing a family of three boys isn’t exactly easy, but she made it so fun. And it did seem easy!

She worked so fast- and with a hungry, nursing baby and a post c-section mama, that was very much appreciated.

My mom was with us, too, so we were able to get her in a few of the photos as well. I’m so happy with how they turned out and how they just feel like us!

I’ve admired Jordan’s work for a long long time, and I’m so happy she was able to document our sweet James Walker in his first days.

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this time…

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We loaded up in the car to leave the hospital like old pros. It’s our third baby boy. He screamed almost the whole way home as he experienced the car seat for the first time. And while he screamed, I could feel this look of peace cover my face.

All of my babies have screamed the whole way home in the car. And I don’t remember that look of peace on my face. The screaming in the car led me to panic and made me sweat and made my heart race. I wanted to pull over and hold him and try again before. But this time I knew that our baby boy was fine. He’d be home in a few minutes where I could snuggle him and remind him that he’s safe. And just the overwhelming feeling of gratitude for having a baby in our car, coming home with us, was enough to make me feel that peace this time.

This time we know that it’s our last baby. Our third baby boy is our last baby. So this time I’m going to hold him for all of his naps. I’m going to nap when he naps. I’m going to breathe in that smell of baby shampoo and let my senses memorize how that smells and how that feels and what his little grunts sound like.

This time I’m going to smile when I lift him out of his crib in the middle of the night. I’m going to stop watching the clock at 3:00 a.m. and see each moment as time that I can spend with him that I’ll never get back. Not because I’m superhuman or because I don’t love sleep, but because the thought of never feeding a baby in the middle of the night again makes my heart break.

This time I’m not going to force the baby on my big boys. I’m going to wait for them to ask to hold him and love on him. When they rush home from school and want to see their baby brother before they do anything else, I’ll know that taking the pressure off of them was a good thing.

This time I’m going to cry as I watch friend after friend stop by to check on me and meet our newest addition. When I see them hold him and welcome him to the world, I see a future full of friendship and the support we receive from our amazing village. The meals they bring are the icing on the cake, but the kindness and love and grace they extend to our whole family are the real deal.

This time I know what stuff to sweat over and what stuff to just let go. The stress of nursing a big baby was gone because I knew what I was getting into and I could effectively communicate with our doctors and nurses. This time I knew that being a couple of ounces away from his birth weight wasn’t something to panic about. This time I know that holding him all day right now is good for me. This time I know that staying in my pajamas and missing a shower (or two) is okay- even if people are coming over. This time I know that feeling relaxed is the most important thing. Everything else can wait.

This time I know that my soft belly will return to normal again, so I just wait and enjoy the pajamas and yoga pants and extended wear of maternity pants.

This time I sing the same hymns over and over again at bedtime and sometimes find myself unable to choke out the words as I sing to my baby boy about God’s grace. This time I know that there’s no more important thing that I could ever sing about.

This time I’m praying that I don’t rush my big boys into growing up too much because my hands are full with their baby brother. They are all still babies in my eyes and each of their feelings and emotions and life stages are all important.

This time will fly by. He’ll be a month old in just a few days. I’ll wonder where the days went. So this last baby boy of ours is being fussed over and cherished in the best ways we know how to do that. We are so, so grateful for this time.

when Hudson and Hayes met James Walker

A few weeks before James Walker was born, I was on Facebook and noticed that one of Hudson’s former preschool teachers was going to start a new business taking every day photos of children. One of the specific events she said she wanted to photograph was siblings meeting for the first time. I immediately messaged her to see if she would be willing to come to the hospital the day of the c-section to take photos of Hudson and Hayes meeting James Walker.

I knew that I’d be stuck in the bed for a few hours and wouldn’t be able to take pictures, and I wanted Todd to be able to enjoy the moment. And Logan agreed to come take pictures! I am so glad we did this because the emotion on the boys’ faces is just the best! I will let the pictures speak for themselves.

If you are local to Columbia, definitely reach out to Logan Fowles for children’s photography. These pictures are just priceless to me! (Email Logan at LoganFowles@yahoo.com)

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James Walker’s birth story

On Tuesday morning, March 3, I got up around 6:00 a.m. I didn’t sleep great the night before. I was up a lot of the night to use the restroom and my belly was so big that I just couldn’t get comfortable at night. So I was ready to get up and get the day going. I got a shower and dried my hair. We packed lunches for the boys. I took one last belly pic to document 40 weeks pregnant with James Walker. (I had an ultrasound at 38 weeks and they predicted his weight at that time would be 9 lbs 8 oz, so we knew we had a sizable baby in there.)

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And then Todd and I took the Hudson and Hayes to school together.

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We grabbed our bags and hugged my parents goodbye, and drove to the hospital. I was a little more nervous this time for my c-section than I was with Hayes. I think just the idea of having surgery and thinking about my kids made me nervous. But we got to the hospital and had the sweetest nurses. They did everything they could to make me feel comfortable and make me laugh. And stuck me with a lot of needles! I got my IV, got hooked up to fluids, and just waited until our scheduled surgery time.

Todd changed into his scrubs and I got wheeled to the OR. Everyone was so reassuring while I was in there without Todd- just talking to me and making sure I was comfortable. The nurses talked me through the whole thing. (And even offered to be on camera duty to get pictures of James Walker’s arrival.) Once my spinal block was set and my blood pressure was under control, Todd came in and held my hand. And I knew it was getting closer. I felt a few tugs and then I heard James Walker cry. And then I cried and cried.

The doctor and all the nurses were going on and on about how big he was and how squishy he was, and I just couldn’t wait to see him!

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There is nothing, nothing, nothing like seeing your baby for the first time. After nearly 10 months of waiting and praying and just putting so much faith and trust in knowing that everything is going to be okay, finally seeing his sweet little face is the greatest feeling.

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Todd went with him to the bassinet and helped get him cleaned up. And then they brought James Walker to me and I got to kiss his cheeks and hold him for a minute.

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While they were finishing up my surgery, Todd got to do skin-to-skin with James Walker and they sat right by my head. I was able to talk to Todd and look at the baby – and that made the full experience for me. When Hayes was born, they rushed him off to the nursery and Todd went with him so I was left without my people in the OR. But this time I got to stare at my baby and talk to my husband and it was just such a sweet time.

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They took us to recovery where they weighed James Walker. They told me he weighed 11 lbs 2 oz and I said, “No way!” I felt all 11 pounds of him over the last few months. Just so much belly and so heavy!

I was able to nurse him in recovery and got great attention from the nurses. We made our way to our room and James Walker never left my arms. It was just heavenly. Then all the grandparents got there and they all got to hold him and kiss those sweet cheeks.

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I have lots of pictures of Hudson and Hayes meeting their brother and I’ll post those later this week. We’re just loving being home with our baby boy and doing our best to get into a routine and find our new normal. My mom and dad have been here. My dad left yesterday and my mom is staying for a while- until I can drive again. Their help has been wonderful for Todd and me! I’m feeling pretty good. I’d even say the second c-section is easier than the first. We’re sleepy, but nothing that I didn’t expect from having a newborn. We’re just so thankful!

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