Family

James Walker is 2 months old

May72015

Dear James Walker,

You are two months old! Fastest two months of my life.

This month was a little more challenging in terms of getting you figured out. You’re a lot more alert and want to be sitting up and looking around as much as possible, which means someone needs to be holding you. But we’re breaking that habit and getting you a little more content with being awake in your bouncy seat or Mamaroo. And we still allow ourselves some sweet cuddles and holding you for naps. It’s a hard balance because I want to snuggle you as much as possible, but need you to be okay with being put down so that we can get things done around the house.

You love looking around and taking everything in, though. When Hudson walks up to you, your little face lights up. You smile and coo at him and I just know that the two of you will be great buddies with him looking after you. Your smile is just so infectious.

Last night, we were all eating supper and you were in your bouncy seat. I heard you cooing and talking to us and you so badly wanted our attention. It was the cutest thing and you did immediately get all of our attention.

You had a great two month well visit and took your shots like a champ. I managed not to cry and you only cried for a little bit. But you charmed the nurses!

You are on a 7:00-7:00 schedule now. I feed you at 7:00 p.m. after your bath, put you down for the night swaddled in your crib, and then go back in to feed you when you wake up. We’ve had a couple nights where you’ve woken up at 5:00 a.m. (hallelujah!), a few nights of 3:00 a.m., and it seems you’re regressing and now waking up at 1:00 a.m. We’re aiming to get back to that 5:00 a.m. and just staying the course. But you eat quickly in the middle of the night and go right back down to sleep. I’m super tired these days, but also so happy to see you in the middle of the night. You love talking to me in the middle of the night!

We love you, sweet boy, and we’re excited to see what the next month brings!

Love,

Mommy

Weight: 14 lbs (85%)

Height: 24.5 inches (97%)

Diaper Size: 2

Clothing Size: 3-6 month

Likes: Baby Einstein Take a Long Tunes, Snugabunny Bouncy Seat, sitting up and looking around, Hudson, your crib mobile, hymns as lullabies, bright colors, sitting up

Hayes is 4 years old!

Filed Under: Hayes

May62015

my favorite picture of our Hayes from the past year

Dear Hayes,

How is it possible that you are four? Up until two months ago, you were still our little baby. I still saw my tiny little toddler every time I watched you sleep and you would still let me cuddle with you. You have grown up a lot lately.

You’re becoming such a sweet big brother. You know that James Walker is so tiny and you’re so careful with him. But there are also times that you’re a little over-eager and not super careful, so we have to remind you to calm down a little and remember that James Walker is so tiny.

You love life and you are just wide open! You play with full force. You run and jump and laugh and whatever you do, you are all in. I love that about you! We all joke that when you’re grown and on your own and come home for holidays, we’ll all be arguing over who gets to sit next to you at the dinner table. You are so much fun!

You and Hudson started sharing a room around Christmas and it has gone so well. You’ve learned that bed time is bed time and you have to be quiet when the lights go out because you don’t want to keep Hudson awake. Hudson is a lot more of a rule follower than you are, so it’s been a little bit of an adjustment for you, but you’ve done so well. The lights go out and you settle down immediately and drift off to sleep.

With the change of sharing a room, though, you dropped your nap. You were not thrilled about being in your room to take a nap knowing that Hudson was not in there napping, too. You’d just get in there and cry or play or jump on the bed. So we gave up the battle and gave up the nap. But there are a couple days a week where you just drop right where you are and crash. It takes you getting very very still, but you just crash. We have a lot of funny pictures of the places where you’ve napped.

Your vocabulary is huge and your speech has come such a long way! It’s hard to even remember the day when we struggled to understand your speech. You’re so smart, too, Hayes! You don’t sit down and focus on educational things often, but you shock us all the time with what you know. You recognize words and all your letters and numbers. And it’s just something that you seem to have snuck in while you’ve been running and playing so hard.

Our sweet little Hayesie. We’ve actually had to be a lot more mindful of how often and where we call you Hayesie because your classmates were starting to call you that. And while it’s a cute nickname for now, we didn’t want it to be something that you were stuck with your whole life!

You love pancakes and waffles and French fries. But you aren’t the best eater. We know you’ll come around someday. You love ninja turtles, make believe, playing outside, baseball, riding your bike. And you can entertain yourself so well. I’ll hear you having little conversations between your toys and it’s just so cute how much you love to play.

We are so thankful for your sweet little tender heart and your loving spirit. You’re definitely the most fun person in our family and that is a trait that I know you’ll have forever!

I’m so excited to see what God does in your little life over the next year. He has big plans for you, Hayes, and we’re just so thankful for the time that we get to spend with you and watch how He guides your path.

I love you, sweet boy!

Love,

Mommy

Seven

Filed Under: Every Day, Our Wedding

May32015

Seven years. Three homes. Three sons. Two dogs. Changing jobs. Sickness. Vacations. Countless memories and hundreds of moments of grace and love. It’s passion and love and family and community. It’s a covenant. It’s a commitment.

Happy anniversary to my best friend and partner in life and parenting. I love you, Todd!

counting the fruit

Filed Under: Faith, Family, Heart, Motherhood

Apr242015

Counting the fruit is a new little exercise I’ve been doing since I began using the Naptime Diary. This post isn’t a plug for the Naptime Diary, but it is a plug to do this exercise daily. Because, let’s just get it out there, there are some hard days.

Days that end with a child sitting in timeout for throwing his quesadillas on the floor. The quesadillas that you made because he begged for them and you were holding your screaming newborn while making the quesadillas. And then they ended up on the floor to become food for the dog. And while this child is in timeout, you notice a puddle around his feet and see that there’s been another accident that wasn’t even really an accident. A baby’s crying, there’s food on the floor, and other messes on the floor, and it’s life.

But earlier that day, I had been texting with my mom about a trip to MD Anderson that she was excited about to explore a possible new treatment option for melanoma. (If you’re new here, you may not know that my sweet mama has stage IV melanoma.) So I wasn’t focused on my kids. I was focused on my mom which also has an element of selfishness to it because I love my mom and all I want in this world is to be with her every day.

My mom’s appointment didn’t go as she had hoped. (She is still doing the same and feeling well, but there was disappointment because the treatment option she’d hoped for isn’t available to her at this time.) And hearing such disappointment in your mom’s voice will break your heart. Can we just say that cancer sucks? I can get that on a bumper sticker, right?

So the noise in my head of worrying about and praying for my mom who was a thousand miles away in Houston mixed with the noise of my house from the above mentioned scene was just a lot for this postpartum mama’s heart.

And I cried. And I yelled. And I cleaned up messes and then hugged my little boys and apologized for yelling. I couldn’t wait to get in the bed and just sleep for as long as James Walker would let me sleep (which was, blessedly, about 7 hours.)

Yesterday morning, I got up and decided to count the fruit. The fruit? What has God been doing in my life? What is He showing me? What beautiful things are happening in the midst of the cancer storm that my family has prayed through for the past five years? What beautiful things are happening in the sweet chaos of adjusting as a family of five?

We have had five incredible years celebrating life and living life with my mama. Melanoma hasn’t stopped our family from loving each other greatly!

My mama’s courageous story has encouraged others to be their own health advocate. To research and explore and seek second opinions.

We can see God’s hand all over every part of this story. Places they’ve lived. People they’ve encountered. Lives touched. And a reminder from Him every single day that the future is in His hand and He knows the plans He has for my mama’s life.

My big boys adore their baby brother. Even if they fight with each other like crazy, at the end of the day they still have each other’s backs and they adore that sweet baby.

We are surrounded by the most wonderful friends and family who carpool and bring meals and talk through the hard things about cancer and babies and love us so stinking hard. And I’m learning to trust that, accept help, and talk to God first.

Every single day, I know that if I stop and peel the immediate struggle away from my sight, I will see the fruit. I can look a little deeper and see the beautiful, beautiful things that He’s doing in all of our lives. There is purpose in it and there is fruit.

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