Bear with me, y’all. This is a long post.
Last weekend, our little family was invited to attend a retreat called “Family Advance” with about fifteen other families from our church. There were families with children of all ages, and the attendees spanned at least three generations. (Sweet Hayes stayed home because he came down with a horrible sinus infection the day we left. My amazing in-laws hung out with him this weekend.)
We had sessions, recreation time, and we hung out by the campfire at night to roast marshmallows and eat s’mores. We had a little bit of worship time and had the opportunity to share what we were thanking God for in this year. What had God done for us in this year?
As I sat there, with my sweet Hudson on my lap huddling up to me to keep warm, I could smell the scent of firewood on him and in his perfect blonde hair. He leaned his head back to rest on my shoulder and I looked around the room at all the families that were there.
We knew some of them really well and some we didn’t know at all before the weekend. I looked at them holding their children, singing “I love you, Lord” and giggling with their siblings. I looked at some of the older families who were there. These were people who had been inviting families to church for decades, bringing people to the Lord for a lifetime. And they were there this weekend watching us and guiding us as we learn the importance of the body of believers.
Then I looked around the room at a woman, who I believe, helped begin to mold and shape my adult life. My time as a wife, a mother, a leader of children, and a follower of Christ would not be the same without her.
In December of 2008, I was great with child. Okay, so I was about five months pregnant with Hudson. Todd and I had gotten married in May of that year, and we had finally decided to join the church. This meant that we had to walk to the front of this very large church and stand in front of all of them while our pastor read our names and introduced us. This was terrifying for me. I’m so terribly shy.
But we did it. And we survived. Then after it was all over and the congregation had cleared out, a sweet couple come to greet us. They introduced themselves and told us that they were the leaders of the newlywed Sunday school class, and they wanted to invite us to attend. And I thought, “Oh no. I used up all of my courage to join this big church, and now I have to walk into a class of people I don’t know and try to make friends?”
But the next Sunday, we did it. We walked in, met some of the nicest people I’ve ever met, and we were in the newlywed Sunday school class, taught by the most nurturing, Godly people we could imagine.
This was before we had any couple friends at all. We had acquaintances, but no strong couple friends in the same life stage.
And this is where we met our dearest friends.
When they invited us to that class, they didn’t know if we’d come. They didn’t know what would become of us in this great big church. But we went. We made wonderful friends. Almost all of us have had babies, and thrown babies showers, and prayed over serious illnesses and loss, and rejoiced and mourned and celebrated together.
Some of us have gone our separate ways to new Sunday school classes and broadened that circle even more with more new, wonderful, encouraging friends, while still maintaining the original friendships.
And these newer friends have children who are growing up alongside our children. They pick up my kids when they fall down. They hold my kids when they reach for them. We pray over dinner together. We keep each other’s kids when someone has a doctor’s appointment.
As I looked around the retreat facility that night, and then the next day, and saw the beautiful people that have influenced me in such a big way, I was overwhelmed by their selflessness. I was overwhelmed by the generations that were there to lift each other up.
I teared up as I saw the older women reach for the youngest baby just so the tired mother could have a conversation without bouncing her baby in her arms.
I teared up as I heard stories about how an experienced mother had also been one of the college leaders to one of my dear friends, and how couples had introduced other couples to each other.
This is the body of Christ. And it’s all around us.
And, for me, it was a wake up call to pray for intentionality. To pray to be the kind of person who seeks out opportunities to invite and include and encourage.
The impact that our Sunday school teachers had on us is enormous. Their invitation impacted our marriage, our children, our faith, and our involvement in the church that we love so much. They planted a seed.
And, this Easter week, as I think about the magnitude of the Gospel, and what that means to me as a mother, and what that means to my family, I know that I want to serve people.
Our family task for the weekend was to come up with a family mission statement. I had written many mission statements in my work career, but I was never a big fan of it. It always overwhelmed me, and the limits seemed endless.
The mission of the Carroll family is to be a blessing to those around us as we serve and love each other, our church, and our community in the name of Jesus Christ.
I could not be more thankful for the weekend we had. The accountability with other families. The mutual love for the Lord and love for family. The comfort that I have that I know that these people know my kids’ names, and are looking out for them. That they may serve my kids in the children’s ministry and even someday in the youth ministry.
And I pray that any of you reading this will have those experiences, too. Todd and I have some big things that we struggle with, as all marriages and families do. But we are so thankful for the elders and peers that are in our lives that we can be accountable to and that we can lean on.
Have you ever considered writing a family mission statement? What would it look like?
Is there anyone in your life (outside of a family member) who has impacted your life the way my Sunday school teacher has impacted mine?
This post spoke directly to my heart….I, too, am a member of a very large church in another state…and yet am surrounded and supported by different rings of friends of various ages and stages of life in our church. Twenty-six years ago, the newlywed class did a beach retreat over Memorial Day weekend….not knowing it would become an annual event or that hundreds of families would participate over the next 25 years! We weren’t even living in this state at that time, but so grateful for the ones who started the tradition and are still leading the charge….Because of them, we participated in it when we joined the church and the SS class. The stories I hear of the early years, the struggles as children were born, marriages grew and friendships deepened, illnesses, accidents, disappointments and happy times make me so thankful for my church family. To share with others, lift others up by serving and to encourage one another is the best example of Christ’s love for us. I hope the Carroll family enjoys the next 25 years of Family Advance weekends! I will be thinking of your family while we are at Emerald Isle this Memorial Day weekend for the 26th Annual Allen-Stanley SS Class Memorial Day Beach Trip. Happy Easter!
Carol, this makes me so happy! I am so thankful for these relationships and your testimony is so encouraging. Thank you so much for your comment!
I’m so glad you had such a wonderful enlightening weekend! We are so blessed with our church- it is the church that I grew up in, and also a bustling thriving church with tons of young couples and small children now. Every year growing up we would go to Montreat, outside Asheville for the church retreat. I have such fond memories. Now, I can’t wait to go with my little family- although we are sitting out this year, but next year I think it will be much easier for DH to travel.
What a special thing for DH to grow up in the same church you grew up in. I know she will always be surrounded by other families who love her like she’s their own. Xo
I love this post so much. I don’t even know where to start. We’ve been struggling with finding a new church for months now and these are the things that we are lacking from ours. I long for the community of believers (people who are in your season of life and wiser Christians you can really grow from) that you talk about. It’s hard to leave our small church because I’ve gone there all of my life, but I feel like we need to find a church closer to our home so we can grow with our fellow church members and neighbors.
I can relate to you on some many levels, especially the shyness and having to go in front of the church and putting myself out there to a new group of people. This encouraged me, because it’s shows that it really is worth taking that leap of faith and trusting that God knows what is best, always.
I missed you a ton at Blissdom, but you made a great choice by going to this. I couldn’t have passed it up either. Love you heart!
So glad you can relate to the shy thing. The smallest things can seem so intimidating, but it’s so important for me to try to be obedient. I’ll be praying for the Green family as y’all search for your church home and the body of believers there. I know God has the perfect place for you.
I LOVE THIS POST. What you’re describing is exactly what the body of Christ should look/act like.
The first time I ever read about having a family mission statement was on Jon & Kate + 8. Seriously. LOL But I loved the idea. I asked Alex at that time if we could write a mission statement and he said yes but we never took the time to do it. I’m going to bring it up again.
Thank you, my sweet friend. Even though we’ve only met once, I know that if we shared a church home you’d be right there caring for my kiddos, too. You’re such an encouragement to me. Thank you!
And I just laughed out loud at your John and Kate plus 8 reference. But I’ll be eager to hear if you and Alex decide to write a family mission statement. I just love the Averitt Fam!
I love this! Thank you for sharing your heart! While reading, I was reminded of so many people from my church home who influenced me in great ways. I, too, am shy and recently walked down to the front of my new church (Kevin’s church which I’ve actually been attending since we were dating) to join. I’m not as plugged in here yet as I have been my whole life (in the church where I grew up) and I miss that community and fellowship. I’m looking forward to really getting more involved.
Thank you also for the reminder that we need to pray for intentional opportunities.
We’ll definitely be making a Todd family mission statement!
Anna, what a huge step to join the church where you and Kevin became a couple. I know that over time all of those life relationships will form and weave and you’ll see just how God’s hand was all over that process. After we joined our Sunday school class, I joined the choir about a year later and then as the years go on we get involved in more things or different things and that circle of friends just broadens. I know the same will happen for y’all.
I wish Florence was a smidge closer so we could all hang out!
I wish we were closer, too! I only work four days a week in the summer, so we’ll definitely have to plan something!
I love reading your posts about faith. Your words just flow so much better than when I’ve tried to write about faith. Thanks for sharing your stories!
Thank you, Victoria. And you can share, too. Most of the time I feel like I’m rambling, but then if I don’t write it I’ll wish I had.
I loove this post so much. I have been stewing with many of these same thoughts recently … I am so blessed that 2 of my 3 best friends attend my church with their families… the fourth one lives out of town but often visits our congregation. I have been a mom for 2.5 years, a mom to 2 for 9 months and my 3 best friends are all within their first 1.5 years of motherhood. As I have gotten to know more people in my area and through the blog world and twitter, what I have learned is that I am SO incredibly blessed to have the kind of support I do in my friends. We are the same as you — we pray with and for each other, we keep each other’s kid, we love each others kids as though they are our own. They are the kind of friends I can call at 3 am if I need to. Last Sunday during worship service, three of us were standing in a row, all swaying back and forth with our sleeping babies in our carriers and it hit me SO hard. What a blessing it is to have these girls, their husbands and their babies in my life. And they are all part of my life because of the influence that older Christians have had on our life … God has brought us all together because of those influences.
Aw, Lindsay, I love this. I am so glad that you have this community to support and encourage you and your family. There’s nothing like it and I never want to take it for granted. I hope you and your sweet family have a wonderful Easter! Xo
Erin, this is one of my favorite posts ever! God bless you family and have a blessed Easter!
LeighAnn, thank you so much, and thank you for always being such an encourager. Happy Easter to you and your family.
*your*
Wow! Great post Erin! What an awesome thing to actually create and write your family’s mission!
p.s. I hate peeps too. Yuck!
Thanks, Sheaffer! We had never considered writing one before this weekend, but it was a great exercise. And, more importantly, the fellowship and community of the weekend was so special!
Glad you agree about the Peeps. Bleck!!
This is so sweet. Our newlywed Sunday School class was huge for us too! None of us had kids, and a lot of us were transplants with no family nearby, so we spent a lot of time together!
My husband and I have talked about it but it does seem super overwhelming and every time we try to write something out its like we end up going a million directions and never really solidify anything. Recently, we dedicated our little boy and our church does it a bit differently…I wrote a whole post on it but its basically a separate service where we have our families come, sit at a round table and along with the service, we share with our families, 5 values we want to instill in our children. It was SUCH a great exercise to think of these values and for my husband and I to discuss it and while (for me) it was awkward sharing with our families, it was so great to have everyone know what we hope for our little family! …here is the post but it was a great thing to do and helped with vision casting and really made us think through values and how they would look in our family and our children! http://www.talkofthetrains.com/2013/02/dedicated.html
this post is really inspiring to me. I am Catholic and we are part of the church that I grew up in. We don’t go very often, as Scott is not Catholic and isn’t really super religious in anyway, but we had Andrew baptized Catholic and we would like to raise him as such. Both Scott & I complain that we want to make new couple friends that are closer in age to us, etc in our neighborhood, but we keep trying to find that link and this is inspiring me to get him to go to church and possibly try to meet people that way. Maybe this is His way of guiding us in the right direction!
Thanks for sharing!
and isn’t the smell of campfire awesome? I think it is one of my most favorite things in the whole wide world.
I am really late to reading this post (gave up reading blogs for Lent!) BUT I just loved it.
I wanted to chime in and say that my husband and I have written a family mission statement. Right after we got married. We have a simplified version and we have a version that elaborates more on our family purpose. Our family mission helps us makes SO many decisions for us and will continue to be a guiding light as we go through our lives, adding more children and trying our best to serve the Lord.
Here is the ours: http://lauramicheleportraiture.blogspot.com/2012/03/crofts-family-purpose-statement.html
We used this book ( http://lauramicheleportraiture.blogspot.com/2012/03/organized-simplicity-book-review.html) to help us and I highly recommend it. It will also come in handy when organizing your new home!
Erin, I read a handful of blogs, but truly love yours. Your love of Christ is shines through every post. I just wanted to encourage you and say thank you. I never read your blog and walk away feeling less of myself, or jealous but instead- thoughtful and reminded of God.