Life as a mother, particularly a stay-at-home mother, can get a little lonely. We have the constant company of our sweet little ones, who aren’t necessarily sweet all the time. But there isn’t a whole lot of interaction with friends and peers, and many days we go to bed and realize that other than with our immediate family members, we haven’t had a real conversation.
I know, for me, some of the days can feel lonely. And even though I know deep in my heart that my work at home is significant, I can start to feel pretty insignificant.
But I realized not too long ago that my work is not just in the home. We have incredible opportunities to make a huge impact on someone’s day and someone’s attitude.
Mother to mother, this is something that we can do for each other.
A couple of months ago, my mom and I were driving back to South Carolina from Indiana with the boys, and we stopped at a restaurant to have lunch. The hostess was an attractive, friendly woman about my mom’s age. She walked us to our table and limped the whole way there. I let her know we’d need a high chair and as she limped away from us to go get it, I said, “Can I get that for you? I’m happy to do it.”
She stopped and just looked at me, then said, “It’s my pleasure to get it. But thank you so much. No one has ever offered to help me before.”
I don’t know why she was limping, but it wasn’t hard to notice that she must have been in pain. And I honestly couldn’t believe that no one had ever offered to help her.
I’m not telling this story to pat myself on the back. There are plenty of times when I am completely oblivious because I’m too busy with what I’m doing to even notice what’s going on. But the kind woman’s words stuck with me, and I decided to make it a point to be more observant. I want to take the time to notice other people, and be considerate.
It made me feel better, and the woman told me it made her feel better. The look of appreciation on her face would have made anyone’s day.
There are so many mornings when I’m doing drop off at school that I just feel like I’m in a daze. I know what it takes us to get ourselves together and out the door in the mornings. But imagine the possibilities if I just put a smile on my face.
If I pass another mom in the hallway, what does it do to her day if I smile at her, or say hello. There’s a strong possibility that she had the same kind of morning that I did.
When I’m unloading my kids and see another mom struggling to get hers unloaded, how can I impact her day just by offering to help?
Because that little smile or that wave? It says, “I get it. I’ve been there.” And don’t we all just want to feel like someone understands?
Maybe I’ll be a little late for my next stop. Or I’ll spend ten minutes talking to another mom in the hallway when I could be halfway finished with my first errand. But it’s okay to slow down a little bit
We have no idea what people may be struggling with. But if I consider my own struggles and the things that caused me to lose my patience or the things that got my day off to a rotten start, it’s likely that other moms were right there with me.
In this year when I’m saying “no” and focusing more on relationships, I’m committing to take time to notice people. I’m taking time to offer a helping hand to someone. Or just offering a smile and a wave. Or just a quick text to say that I’m thinking of you.
I don’t know about you, but the times that I get a text from someone saying, “You’ve been on my mind today,” my day is made. Someone was thinking of me. And I want to have a positive impact on someone’s day that way.
We have so many opportunities for great significance outside of our own homes. And most days, all we need is a little bit of adult interaction and the realization that we did something to positively impact someone’s day.
Source: joyfulwhimsy.blogspot.com via Erin on Pinterest
Love that Maya Angelou quote! It’s so true. It’s really easy to get wrapped up in our own lives and tasks and forget that what’s most important is how we relate to other people. In the end it’s the only thing that really matters. Thanks for the reminder Erin!
I know I have to remind myself that while my life may be crazy, everyone’s life is crazy. We’re all busy, so I may as well look people in the eye and smile, and stop acting like I’m too busy.
Amen, love this Erin!
Thanks, Trina. I find that I feel much better if I take the time to notice people and what they may be going through.
Beautiful, beautiful. I love this. You are so right. You are well on your way to being a helping hand, just as you were to me yesterday. Even the seemingly small things mean a lot! Xoxo
I love you, my friend! xoxo
I have always loved that quote too. I too am trying to be more intentional in how I go about my day. I try to smile at strangers when I run out to the store and chat with the checkout lady. I am trying to just slow down and be more patient with myself, my husband, my child and those around me. It is not always easy and I fail many times but I keep trying. I wish that more people would try to just be considerate and put themselves second. This world would be a different place if they did.
It’s so hard when we’re over-scheduled and just rushing from one thing to the next, and thinking of our “problems.” But it does help to just slow it down a bit and take the time to try to make someone’s day.
Thank you so much for reminding me to slow down and pay attention to others. I have to learn to be more patient and more kind and realize that I am not the only one in the world struggling with juggling everything. Here’s to making time for helping others!
What a great reminder. Goes along with what I read in “Love Does” this morning. Paraphrasing: God doesn’t speak to us by passing a note…he passes us people!
Such a great post. I definitely agree with you on feeling lonely. I am a SAHM too and some days I just crave adult interaction, especially because my husband works long hours.
Just one little conversation can turn my day around. My usual conversations at home with the boys can be wonderful, but there’s nothing like those great conversations with friends.
I love this post! My husband, 12 month old and I recently moved to a new state where we knew no one. I stay at home with our little girl, so there are definitely days when I feel isolated and a little down. But I know that being here has forced me to slow down a little bit and try to interact with people around me more, even if we are having a rough day. Like you said, you never know if someone else is having one of those days too! This post is a good reminder that all it takes a hello or even a smile! Thanks for sharing!
Wonderful reminder!
Absolutely a wonderful reminder! I love this post and it is something all moms should remember! Thank you for posting this.
thank you, Lyndsey. Moms and women who aren’t moms– we can give just a little bit of happiness with one kind word or a smile. seems so simple!
LOVE LOVE LOVE!!! 🙂
This is a great post, Erin! I know that I’m often one of those too-busy people who run in and out without saying anything (especially at the gym). I’ve tried to be more intentional about making eye contact and smiling when I see people in my busy state and your post has given me more encouragement to do so!
AMEN SISTER!!!!! LOVE.
Thanks, Anna and Courtney. It’s hard. But I have a handful of alone moments every day where I encounter other moms and other women and have the opportunity to do something… anything. And if smiling or offering to help is all I do, maybe that was all they needed. I hope I can make time for this and always remember the sweet hostess from Cracker Barrel.
Great post! My husband and I just moved to a new state and I have been having a horrible time trying to find work. Being at home, in a new city, is very lonely. I’ve definitely been struggling with (and contemplating blogging about) how insignificant I feel here.
Erin, you just make me smile…..I am so in awe of how God is using you to reach out to others. Blessings to you and your sweet family.
You are so right on. As busy mother’s we KNOW what it’s like. When we take the time to smile at another mom or even offer to help me, it’s such a beautiful thing. I love your heart!
What a fabulous post on all accounts. I just lost my mother 3 weeks ago after a long hard battle that she finally won! I have so many friends who are also mothers, but no one understands quite like your own mother. 🙂
I can remember two instances in particular when I saw someone in a wheelchair struggling to get up an incline. Once it was in the pouring rain when I was in college over 10 years ago, and once was in the past two months one day when I was visiting my mom at the hospital. I saw their struggle and without even asking, I came up behind them and announced that I was going to give them a boost and did just that. Both people, although I am sure were quite capable on their own, were very appreciative of a little help from someone who noticed their struggle. A simple thank you was said, but it made me feel so good to really help them without making a big deal out of it when I know they would have eventually gotten it done, and so many people don’t know how to react or what to do in that situation and would just steer clear.
I take the time in the hallway to talk to other mom’s daily and it is so rewarding. I have made some of the greatest friends this way. Just today one of my friends kids was having a really bad morning, and I asked him if he wanted my baby boy to walk with him to his room. He stopped crying, and I told her we would take my daughter to her room and come back to take him and when we got back he was gone. But the simple fact that one mom was willling to help another I am sure made her morning just a tad bit easier and for all I know may have made the difference for her sweet little boy as well. I know it has had that affect for me when I have been in her shoes.
The support of other moms, other peers, other women who can sympathize, other people who have a kind heart….it can mean the world to someone unsuspecting, and such a simple act can leave such a lasting impact on your own life for many years to come.
Also, I meant to say, I love to smile and one of my favorite games is to smile at random people I pass in the store or anywhere else public and see if they will smile back. The best are the ones who look miserable. Sometimes I think a smile from a stranger can be such a breath of fresh air when for all I know they feel no one cares. I am intentional in making eye contact. We have a radio DJ here who likes to play the “I love you game” where they call random people and tell them they love them on the phone and see if they can get them to say it back. It sort of reminds me of that, but it isn’t quite as announced and in some ways is much more personal. I love to give smiles, my children love to give smiles, and from my experience, there are only a handful of peope who won’t smile back when you give them an intentional smile with eye contact. 🙂