Preface: I am absolutely not writing this post in an effort for any commenters to come on here to compliment me or make me feel better. I’ve got a mirror. I know exactly what I look like these days. I just need to get this out of my system. Complaining about the physical aspects of the end of pregnancy is just part of what I need to do.

• My face. Is. Swollen. Seriously. When I smile, my cheeks consume my eyes and I have the biggest face on the planet. It is unrecognizable in photos. And no, you don’t get to see. But I feel like a Shar Pei.

• That beautiful second trimester skin is gone. My skin is now flat, dry, and starting to break out again.
• My belly has dropped significantly. One reason is because Hayes is transverse and is in there like a football. So this belly of mine is sitting really low and looks like I stuffed three basketballs under my shirt.
• The waddling that occurs because he has dropped so much is probably comical to some. I know my husband thinks it’s funny. When I’m in public I try to fake it and walk normally, but that’s just hard when gravity has its way.
• Even my biggest maternity shirts barely cover my belly and my secret fit panel on my super cute maternity pants.
• The elastic has started to unravel on the panels on my super cute maternity pants.
• The baby hairs and baby bangs have already started coming in. I know that means at some point, I’ll have thick, luscious locks. But right now, I have tiny little baby duck hairs sprouting from the top of my head and sticking straight up.

• And last but not least, the anxiety over the dreaded weight loss process has started getting to me. I avoid looking at the scale at my appointments, but I do know exactly how much I have gained and how much I’ll need to lose. I also know it’s only a matter of days at this point before I can start thinking about losing it. But, oh goodness, I hope I start losing it quickly! But I know that Hayes doesn’t weigh 20 pounds, so I can’t blame it on him!

Hayes is all set to come. His birthday is scheduled and we can’t wait to see his precious little face and kiss his cheeks. In the mean time, however, I’ll be avoiding cameras in an effort to prevent myself from crying at the physical reality of the end of the third trimester.

Holidays are so much fun when little ones are around. It’s so much fun to experience the holiday through their eyes. To teach them about the true meaning of the holiday and then celebrate in kid-friendly ways. This Easter was a lot of fun for us because it was Hudson’s first Easter where he could participate in some of the more secular traditions of Easter.

We did the Resurrection Eggs with him and read the age appropriate parts of the Easter story to him from his little Bible.

But we also dyed Easter eggs this year and he went on an Easter egg hunt at school. I should have just stripped Hudson down to a diaper so he could participate more in the egg-dying process, but because I didn’t trust that he wouldn’t dump the egg dye onto the carpet, I just kept him in his high chair. It was my first time to dye eggs in many years, so it was fun for me, too! And it was a good way for this pregnant mama to spend a day inside with her boy.

Then I made some cupcakes for an Easter gathering and we had quite a few left over. I let Hudson have one after dinner, and rather than give him bites to contain the mess, I just let him get after it. He was surprised, I’m sure, and pretty darn happy about it.

The Easter Bunny came by our house and left Hudson some really fun goodies in his Easter basket! He got lots of fun Sesame Street books, coloring books, and stickers. And a Mr. Potato Head Easter Bunny, finger paint, sidewalk chalk, and some really fun bunny Sing-a-Majigs. His daddy has loved those the most! Not kidding.

He also got some jelly beans and some Animal Crackers. I was a little conservative about the whole candy thing. He is a wild toddler, after all!

Our church service this morning was one of the most moving that I can remember in my life. The message was wonderful, the music was worshipful, and the Spirit was there and was touching hearts. My parents couldn’t be here to celebrate Easter with us, but TC’s parents joined us at church and afterward, we went to his grandmother’s house for lunch and an Easter egg hunt.

Hudson loves Easter egg hunts now that he understands what to do. But today he wouldn’t put down his snack holder and I had to follow along behind him, carrying his basket, to catch his eggs as he tossed them in.

I think his favorite thing was identifying what color each egg was and shouting out, “I see purple!” or “I see blue!”

It was such a hot day that all of the dyed eggs were sweating in the sun and the dye started coming off on our hands. And of course a little bit got on Hudson’s white linen outfit, but boys will be boys and they will get dirty.

Unfortunately, we didn’t get a great photo of the three of us– because my face is so swollen and I am being vain and refuse to show them to you. But TC and Hudson looked so sharp! I love my boys and can’t wait for my next boy to arrive soon.

And… lastly, defying all family tradition set forth by his father and me, Hudson tried a Peep today and loved it. TC kept saying it was “gross” so then Hudson thought they were called “gross” and kept asking for “more gross.” Hilarious. Hopefully he’ll snap out of his love for Peeps before next Easter!

I hope you all had a great Easter with your families or loved ones. We sang In Christ Alone this morning and it is one of my favorite songs. I kind of have to pretend to sing because I always get so choked up that really ugly sounds come out when I try to sing. But I usually just listen and worship. I wanted to share my favorite lyrics from In Christ Alone with you:

No guilt in life, no fear in death
This is the power of Christ in me
From life’s first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny

No power of hell, no scheme of man
Could ever pluck me from His hand
Til He returns or calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I stand

Last night, I settled in on the couch to watch the ACM’s Girls’ Night Out on CBS. They were honoring Martina McBride, Reba McIntyre, The Judds, Miranda Lambert, Jennifer Nettles, Loretta Lynn, and my favorite, Carrie Underwood.

Each artist was recognized and got to hear another performer or group perform one of her songs and then she joined that performer to do a duet. Vince Gill honored Carrie Underwood and sang a beautiful version of Jesus Take The Wheel. Carrie was touched and honored and even shed a few tears.

Afterward, Carrie joined Vince at the microphone and immediately started singing. And they took us to church. What an appropriate weekend for such a great testimony and opportunity for Carrie and Vince to witness. What a great God we have and what a beautiful song she sang.

(If you’ve seen Carrie live in concert, you know that in the middle of Jesus, Take The Wheel she sings How Great Thou Art.)

It’s hard feeling displaced. Because of my dad’s jobs, we moved around a lot. South Louisiana to north Louisiana to Indiana and back to Louisiana for college. Then I came to South Carolina for graduate school. I am used to moving. I actually like moving.

My parents would probably be shocked to see those words because when we moved between my seventh and eighth grade years to Indiana, I’m pretty sure I acted like the world was ending. And at the time I thought it was. But all of those experiences were so great for me and I got used to doing something new every few years. It was always an adventure and I finally understood and believed that I could live anywhere and I could make friends where ever we went.

When I moved here to South Carolina, I never imagined that it would be a permanent move. But here I am, seven years later, and seven years is the longest I have ever lived anywhere. I lived in Baton Rouge from birth to seven years old. To me, seven years seems like a really long time to live in one spot.

But during those years, I started and finished graduate school. Almost all of my grad school friends left town, but I stayed. And then I met my husband the next year and a bar exam and a successful career keep him here, in his home town. He also went away to two great schools, but came back here because it was home.

There were some years of pent up resentment. Not toward anyone in particular, but I was feeling sorry for myself. My family isn’t here. My best friends from college aren’t here. But I’m here. In a place in my life where it’s awkward to try to make friends.

But after some time, prayer, lots of “putting myself out there”, and patience, I feel like I am home. I have some of the most amazing friends I could ask for here in this town. My husband has a wonderful career that makes him very happy. We will probably always live here. Sometimes that makes me feel sad and long for some adventure. But most of the time I realize that my kids will have the privilege of growing up in the same town their whole lives. They will start kindergarten and finish high school with most of the same people.

I will have the opportunity to strengthen the friendships that we already have. (I say “we” because we are fortunate that most of our friends are couples friends and that is good for both of us.) And my kids will grow up with my friends’ kids.

I love that I know where everything is in this town and where to go when I need anything. I know the holes in the wall and the big chain places. I know the areas where we would want to live and where we want our kids to go to school.

I still get really nostalgic when I think about Louisiana, my home state. Most of my extended family is still there and lots of friends are there. Not to mention the best food on the planet and one of the greatest cultures in the whole world, in my opinion. I still feel like I am visiting home when I am there. But this is home now and it finally feels that way.

I spent most of 2010 praying for contentment and praying that God would help me stop wishing for whatever might be coming next. I haven’t been able to cast all of those thoughts aside, but I do feel like I am home.

And it is all because of my precious little family. They are here. And my home is where ever they are. My parents can come visit and I can visit them. The same with my friends. But this is where I belong unless God takes us in a different direction.

And you know what else? It’s not all about me. As I learned many many years ago, I can be happy where ever I live. And I am happy here. (As long as KK and Poppie come for regular visits!)